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Hey, i wanted some ideas on how to improve this article so that it doesn't get deleted. This is my first article so be blunt. If there is anything wrong with it please tell me how to fix it. I got to a point where i thought i should just put it up for review to see what other users thought of it. I want someone to give it a really in-depth review. Thanks in advance.--User:Altair/sig 22:50, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
is being reviewed by
Your Source for Fine Scented Pee
And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him
- Yeah, I gots some time on mah hands. • <2:17, 08 Aug 2008>
|Humour:||5||Here's the deal: I don't know if I'll be able to give you many suggestions for your article, because I don't know much about Hemophilia as a disease, but YOU asked ME to review, not the other way around, eh? Avg of all yer sections... (NOTE: 7 IS AVERAGE)
|Concept:||5||Someone had to write an article on a "popular" disease like this one, I guess. The problem is that it goes all over the place. It's too random, in other words! I couldn't really follow it, got bored at some parts, didn't read others no matter how much I tried... There's no common thread between sections, either, except the gay joke which was, in all honesty, extremely lame.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||I saw a few mistakes in there, so you have some proofreading to do. All in all though, not too bad a writing style you have. Please, PLEASE, break up your sections into paragraphs!!|
|Images:||5||I totally didn't understand the pictures.|
|Miscellaneous:||5.3||avg of all your other scores|
|Final Score:||26.3||I'm sorry if this seems harsh, Altair. I don't really see a future for this article, so maybe don't focus on it too much. Maybe start writing something else? Something that, while you're writing it, makes you giggle. Something that you like to write, instead of just writing anything? I don't know what to do with this article that would make it a whole lot better than it is now (except remove the gay jokes, for god's sakes), so this is just what I think, I guess. You could always get a second opinion, though!
Please don't think I'm being mean here, Altair. Start other projects and you'll get the hang of it! You'll like it here. Okay, Call me if you have questions! Keep on truckin.
|Reviewer:||• <4:52, 08 Aug 2008>|