Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Greater Good

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edit Greater Good

N00b's first article, be gentle (but honest)... Please..? -- DameViktoria Heart_anim.gif Icons-flag-gb - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 13:45, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

Let's get to it! =D ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 15:08 Feb 20)
Humour: 6 It had its moments, but overall this article lacks consistancy in its jokes. For a short article like this one, you need to have a lot of humor value to keep the reader interested. Also, your jokes don't really seem to be too consistant with your theme. I'm not really sure why you chose to go with the whole P.O.R.N. thing, it really seemed to distract the reader from your idea. Work on keeping the theme on the right track.
Concept: 8 For the idea of doing an article on the Greater Good, I'll give you an eight. This is pretty clever, I'm glad someone decided to step up and do an article on this. Good for you, I can definitely see you making this into a gem of an article. But let's finish reviewing first.
Prose and formatting: 6 This is another area which I found to be a tad shakey. I'm not really sure why the first paragraph is italicized, and there's some other little wikiformatting things that I'm gonna be picky about. See what you can do with that, give it a good looking over and try to make this look like other articles as far as format goes. As for your tone, it's consistant and professional sounding. I like the way you write, which is what tells me that you have serious potential to become a great writer on this wiki. Submitting articles to the Pee Review tells me you're willing to put in the work it's going to take to get yourself there.
Images: 7 /me comes back from staring at the hot chick ...*snort* gahh what? oh yeah, this thing. Your images are somewhat relevant, with good captions and such. For an article of this size, I guess two images is good. Three would probably be a bit crowded if you were to add this to the article as it is now, but since I'm hoping that you're going to add some to this article, I'd say a third picture would be appropriate. I'm thinking you could dig up a picture of "The Greater Good" and of course the picture could be anything. Then just caption it with "The Greater Good." Just an idea. =D
Miscellaneous: 6 I think I'll actually use this section to talk about the brief hints at political humor. I think I'll tell you what I told another young whippersnapper on another Pee Review: that humor about the Iraq War is really no longer relevant, interesting, or funny. As you're reading this, go turn on the news. Or go to the news site of your choice. Are they talking about the Iraq War? No. They forgot about it already. Try to take this article away from the war and give it some lasting value so that it'll still be funny after the rest of us forget about the war. However, if you choose to ignore this advice (you won't hurt my feelings, remember this is just one man's advice) at least try to make your political humor a little less blatant. Subtle undertones are much better than open statements. (That's not to say I found any of those in this article. Forgive me for ranting a bit, I got a little off topic there.)
Final Score: 33 This is a pretty nice start. You're different from the other noobs, aren't you? You're writing quality articles. You're going to the right place for help. You're open to the idea that perhaps experienced users can help you with your writing. Don't be discouraged by this score, it's not a bad one. But I want you to feel motivated to improve it. If you only read one part of this huge tome I'm writing you, let it be this: make this article longer, more consistant, and make it funny for as wide of an audience as you can. Oh, and stay with your theme. An article about the Greater Good is a clever idea. And I'm sure you can improve this article, it's already a great start.
Reviewer: ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 23:27 Feb 21)
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