How good does it look and how well does it read?5.5
Well, this is probably the best part of the article, seeing as it emulates a game wiki article quite well, and there are no blaring affrontments to the english language. The tone can be quite juvenile at times, though. Subtlety would make the article more funny, rather than making it as base as possible and pointing out the joke. Seeing as there are no spelling mistakes, I'll put some examples of what I don't like in the Spelling section. Bias doesn't really work as humour, humourous criticism does.
"It's easy to kill this guy", you may think
shocking six weapons
which no living creature can survive, not even Chuck Norris. (What's the point?)
boring gameplay and blood and gore and carnage and explosions and dismembered bodies and cats used as silencers and the ability to chainsaw people. (And anything else?)
There are a ridiculous amount of GTA spin-offs on Uncyc, and only around 5% are actually funny. We had a mass spring cleaning of GTA articles on VFD a while back, and not meaning to be harsh, but this would not have survived. After reading the article, I'm still unsure about what you were going for with the title "Nowhere". Part of it seems to mean a small town with limited resources, technology and culture. Other parts I'm wondering whether this would be Grand Theft Auto: Nihilism, where the developers had limited tools to make the game. Admittedly, Nihilism would be quite an inspired idea, I guess, but I think it would take a lot of work and ideas to make it any better than the usual GTA cruft.
How funny is it? Why is it funny? How can it be funnier?2
There a jokes, such as passing references to the credit crunch, but nothing that is developed or written well enough to actually make me laugh. Some absurdities about the equipment and cars could be construed as jokes if they also were developed and written well.
However, there are an immense amount of cliched features in this article that would make any slightly experienced Uncyclopedian go apeshit.
Lists: Lists are usually not funny, and indicate laziness and inability to write a proper joke. It's like buying a really cheap, horrible cakemix, as opposed to gathering all the individual ingredients and making a nice one yourself.
Quotes: 1 or 2 quotes where relevant and funny can be nice, but not 7. The only thing the great Jabba the Hutt has to do with GTA is the spin-off GTA: Tatooine, one of the better spin offs, although even that isn't that great. While I understand they are there to convey the game's crapness, they are not really very funny.
How are the images? Are they relevant, with good quality and formatting?2
I guess you have 1 image which is relevant. Not really that funny though. Besides that you have no other images. C'mon, if you're going to make a proper GTAcruft article, at least have an image of the box art.