Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Gordon Ramsay

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edit Gordon Ramsay

I've rewritten it the moment I've seen it. I think it looks a lot better but you be the judge. - 20px-Insignia.png (talk) (contribs)(email me!) 00:34, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

UUtea A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter UU Manhole
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).

As requested, UU's review factory will be processing this shortly. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:55, Feb 24

Humour: 7 Pretty good. You've taken a piss poor article and made it a good one. It's not subtle, but then neither is Gordon. I do have a few points/suggestions, see comments below. However, as a first article, it's a fine job!
Concept: 8 Ramsay on Ramsay. Fine and dandy. The man is in danger of turning into a parody of himself at times, so there's plenty of material for this kind of thing.
Prose and formatting: 5 A lower score here. Formatting's fine, but the writing need some work.
  • "Well in 1976 "we" settles upon some British village I can't recall" - clumsy. I think "settled in" would be much better.
  • You decline an invitation - you deny an accusation - such as your father being an alcoholic.
  • "My football career was unfairly marked by a number of injuries that was purposely done to me". There's more than one injury, so the second "was" should be a "were". And "done to me" feels clumsy - how about "My football career was unfairly ruined by a series of injuries that I fucking know were all deliberately inflicted" or something more like that?
  • If you're aiming for a British tone, then "ass" should be "arse".
  • "WHAT I GUY CAN'T TAKE PRESSURE" - er, what? That doesn't make sense to me.

To be honest, I could pick out a few more like this. I'd say your best plan is to stick a {{proofread}} template on the page and let the comma brigade weave their magic.

Images: 7.5 Two images, well captioned and relevant to the article. Good. For the length of the article, you could probably stand another one though.
Miscellaneous: 6.9 Averaged. You fucking heard me!
Final Score: 34.4 As a rewrite, it's a very good job. You've taken a good approach to the article and run with it. The prose does need some more work, and I hope you at least consider the suggestions below as well. My advice is to work on this a bit more, then get it proofread. However, this is still a very decent article, so good job!
Reviewer: --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:47, Feb 24

Right, here we go. First off, you're missing a couple of classic Gordon mannerisms - his habit of calling guys "big boy" all the time, and his habit of saying "yes?" after every instruction or question. Rectify this to make it sound a bit more authentic.

Also, you ignore his approach to food. Now, I don't know how much this comes across in Kitchen Nightmares, but in his "The F Word" series in the UK (have you come across that?), his style is open to parody. Basically, it's very fast, and doesn't bother with niceties such as weights or measures. A typical Ramsay recipe goes as follows:

"Pan. Butter. Melt. Flour. Stir. Milk, blue cheese. Simmer. Hot frying pan. Steak. Sizzle. Plate. Pour. Steak in Blue Cheese sauce - done." (All accompanied by rapidly edited shots of the process.

He's supposed to be doing it this way to show that exact weights and measures aren't as important as taste testing, but a lot of people just find it amusing. I'm sure there's room to parody that attitude at least.

And actually, with The F Word, Kitchen Nightmares, and his setting up and running myriad restaurants, a lot of people are accusing him of spreading himself too thin - his reputation rides on his restaurants, but he hardly ever seems to be in them any more. Surely there's room to have fun at the expense of this? In fact, possibly allude to the fact that trying to keep this all going helped to wind him up even tighter than normal, which leads into the final tirade and the correctional institute quite nicely.

Hope you find this useful, and please don't take my comments about the prose to heart - I'm the kind of jackass that notices these things. In fact, if you do pop it up for proofreading, there's a good chance it will be me that does it anyway!

And as always: this is only my opinion, others are available. And good luck! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:47, Feb 24

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