Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ghandi

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edit Ghandi

Ryuken 03:53, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

OK, I will give this one a look over. Give me a while.. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:36, Feb 9
Humour: 5.5 There were a few places which made me think about smiling, but really it's not that great. It suffers from too much randomness in many places, and contains

I would trim the quotes right back. For me the ones you have there now are a bit random, and don't add too much to the article. Maybe just have the one below: "I actually never wanted to be a activist I wanted to be a firefighter!"

Kill the Xmas Gandi thing.

I would completely loose the "special moves" section. Not sure it adds anything, and probably will turn a lot of readers off, what otherwise is a decent article.

The "documents praising Ghandi on his "work" have been found, having been written by a variety of authors including" section could really do with hacking back. I get the point, but its just so long its really more HTBFANJS rather than funny. Definatly loose guys you don't have a link for, and are red text, and consider trimming the whole thing back. Maybe just list 5 or 6 guys.

Please. Do not mention kitten huffing. Unless it's really funny. We have so many reference to that plastered all over the site, it's a real turn off for may readers

Basically, it's just too random. Randomness is good sometimes, but in places this just crosses over the boundry, and its just not that funny. If you have not already, consider reading HTBFANJS. It's not an insult, and even the most experienced writers on Uncyc re-read it from time to time.

Concept: 6 It's really just an article written in a reverse style. Could not really see to much to seperate this from a lot of other articles. I think you need to decide on a particular direction for the article, and stick to it.

What was the central theme of the man's life? How can you use the concepts which sourounded him to make this funny?

Prose and formatting: 6.5 The quality of the prose is mixed. In places it's good, but in others in not so great. Obviously this article has been worked on by a number of different people, and in its current form, it really shows. Consider reading through trying to get everything in a consistent style. Loose most of the red links, and try to make the whole thing look more pleasing to the eye.
Images: 6 I'm not sure about having the two pictures right at the top with the text in the middle. I have not seen that done in many articles on Uncyc, and think it might be best to move one of the pics elsewhere in the article. You are rather short on pics lower down. Maybe put the pic on the right in one of the later sections which do

"Ghandi masturbating to yet another MacGyver marathon" and "Numerous citations for public nudity have been filed." were good, pics, but I did not feel that the others really added too much.

Normally, I think it's good to have a picture accompanying most sections that you write, so I think you need to move things around a little, and probably fine a few more to add to the article.

Miscellaneous: 6 {{Pee|5.5|6|6.5|6}}
Final Score: 30 This article has some potential, but it still needs a LOT of work doing on it. Basically, you need to cut out that which is really just random and not funny and add in some new material. I would suggest that as a source for inspiration you should do some research into the man himself. Ghandi is well known for his stance on passive resistance, and was one of the most important figures in recent politics. He did not always where a nappy, actually, he was well educated in the west, and started wearing these sorts of cloths as a protest. Find out about the guy, and then think how you can use what you know about him to make this funny. Perhaps he actually got into nappys to make some quick money doing advertising for Pampers the nappy company. You get the idea.

I think this is an important article, and I hope you put the time in to make it a whole lot better. It needs the work. Good luck!

Reviewer: MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 18:52, Feb 9
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