Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Generic Theory of Probably Something 2

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edit Generic Theory of Probably Something

A little more in-depth this time please? Icons-flag-pi Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 02:08, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

Well, if that's what you want... ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 21:26, September 28, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: 7 Hey Sonic. This was a pretty interesting article. Out of left field for sure, but that's part of what makes it funny. It contains several good one-liners and is good for a laugh or two. That's really... it though. It's just funny, wothout much substance at all.

I suppose my biggest issue with this article humorwise is that it never really decides whether it should be a short, laugh out loud quickie, or a somewhat intelligent article with some cheap laughs in the process.

It's basically about a kid who wants to get done with his homework so he can watch the Super Bowl, right? That's a decent concept, and you've used it pretty well. But what about the theory? I know it's really not supposed to be anything, but is it nothing, or everything? Does it have a direct connection to the Super Bowl? It's probably something. More in the section below.

Concept: 5.5 This is the biggie for this article. Does it even have a concept? If so, what is it? This article is supposed to be the essay, I think. It would be a lot better if it read a little more like an essay, instead of just a kid talking. That way you could keep the one-liners, and greatly improve the direction. I know it's not supposed to really have a direction, but the article would be a lot more enjoyable if we knew what the kid was talking about.

Also, try to focus less on the Super Bowl and more on the Theory. I wanna hear more funny ways he uses it, because it's such a flexible thing.

Prose and formatting: 8 I really have no advice to give here, it is very well written, I didn't see any spelling mistakes or anything like that. Well done.
Images: 6.5 I really liked the flow chart picture and the Manning one was ok. I suggest you get rid of the first one, it seems random and filler. As for suggestions, I have no idea, ask someone else.
Miscellaneous: 6 Sorry about how brief and unhelpful this was, articles like this are tough to review.
Final Score: 33 Right now this is a passable article with little potential as is, but with some effort it could be magical.

The Bottom Line: Give it a direction, and you're good to go.

Reviewer: ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 22:06, October 2, 2010 (UTC)
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