Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Game:TheBlueScreenOfDeath

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edit Game:TheBlueScreenOfDeath

Hi, just want to see if there's anything I can do to improve this Yettie Golden Oldie. VFHable? Thanks. - [17:43 19 January 2009] YYettie

I'll do this. And this time I mean it. BlueYonder GalaxyIcon - CONTACT
'Course, it looks like it might take me a little while to get through the game, but have faith. BlueYonder GalaxyIcon - CONTACT
Oh, uh, I'm done already. Just wait a li'l...BlueYonder GalaxyIcon - CONTACT
Hahaha! Well i sure had a good laugh =D Simple, short and it sure feels like the real thing (maybe is too =P) Thumbs up from me. I don't think it needs anything more or less. Cheers! --kit 14:09, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, Kit. By the way, Blue Yonder, just in case you may not have noticed, the game is uncompletable. I wouldn't want you to spend hours trying to finish it. :) - [16:45 20 January 2009] YYettie

Oh by the way, jsut to help out, here's a quick list of all the pages in the gaem, cause games can be really confusing to pee on. They just won't hold still and squirm all over the place. Appreciate the review in advance, though, BlueYonder. - [20:02 20 January 2009] YYettie

Sorry, really sorry, lost my internet connection. It's coming NOW. BlueYonder GalaxyIcon - CONTACT
Humour: 4 See, I was a little dissapointed here, I'm afraid. I think the main problem here is that the game really doesn't have enough jokes. In fact, the only direct joke is the one about treating windows like a person. Which is okay, but it looses its sting after its repetition. And then this is coupled, most unfortunatley, with the rather dull, neutral nature of the tone, which I think you can afford to step up a bit (I'll go into that more in the prose section).

Now, with regards to humour, I primarily think the jokes should be more varied. That idea of Windows being a person, for instance, is a good one that doesn't have nearly enough jokes for it. Extend that a bit. But there should, of course, be other jokes. Perhaps there could be more cracks about Microsoft Corporation and Bill Gates. Perhaps the computer should develop more personality by attacking the user and his computer illiteracy personally. Anything that works for you. I really think it would make things much more interesting.

Concept: 5 I'm writing this last, so I'll try not to overlap.

The idea is definitley a fair one; an endless, unwinnable loop of a game that emulates the frustration provided by a Blue Screen of Death. Now, as I'm sure you well know, such games are, by their very nature, boring. And on that note, I can see you've made an effort, but I really don't think you've done all you can to add an interesting nature to this inherent boredom. Like I've gone into elsewhere, the primary problems are that there aren't enough jokes and the overall tone of the game really doesn't have a personality - one of the key things to keeping it interesting. This, coupled with the endless looping nature of the game, puts the game in danger of truly being what it's categorised as in the Games section: a time waster.

One other thing you might be able to do is make the thing a little longer. I know, not too long, it's unwinnable, but I'm sure you can afford to add some length. What's more, perhaps you could extend the action of the game out of the computer and toward the user itself ('Bill Gates sends his lackeys to saw off all your body fat because...'). And couple that with the personal insults of the computer. Or whatever works for you, you know. Personally I think it would do wonders for the interest value of the game.

Prose and formatting: 5 I covered the prose bit a bit in the humour section and may repeat myself a little here, so brace for impact:

The tone, I suppose, is made to emulate the neutral tone of the information given on a computer Blue Screen. Which is fair enough, but like I said, there aren't enough jokes to really keep such a thing interesting; the tone is, by nature, boring, and that tends to make the entirety of the game lean that way. Thus, I think the best answer would be to (told you I'd repeat myself) add some more variety to the jokes and, on top of that, add some better personality to the tone of the text. Perhaps that of a computer trying to sound formal, but gets frustrated and ultimatley takes up a tone of angry bitching. Or, y'know, whatever you think you can work with, really.

Formatting's fine, and I can't find any real problems - it emulates a Blue Screen pretty well. Same goes for grammar.

Images: 6 Well, since images weren't really an option here, I decided to count the blue background and computer text as 'images' (which probably isn't fair, but meh). Anyway, it's good, though not perfect as Blue Screen text ain't EXACTLY like that. Admirably close, though.
Miscellaneous: 5 Averaged. Hope you don't mind.
Final Score: 25 All in all, a good idea that is somewhat limited and constrained by itself. But buff it up a little, and it might well turn out great. Hope this helped, and sorry it was late.
Reviewer: BlueYonder GalaxyIcon - CONTACT
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