Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Friday the 13th (quick)

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edit Friday the 13th

As you know, Friday the 13th is fast approaching, so a quick review would be heartily appreciated. IronLung 11:17, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Masaru

PEE REVIEW IN PROGRESS

Hyperbole is engaged in the dual processes
of giving you his opinion and pretending you care.
Humour: 7.5 Hey IronLung! Let's see what we've got here.

Lede: It's okay, but too short. Also, I have some issues with the concept (see next section).

6/13/86: Margaret Huyton is funny. The Olsen Twins bit seems like a missed opportunity for a funny joke. Slow news day is... meh. Could be funnier, maybe just with a shift in tone.

1/13/96: I like the tautological first sentence. This whole section is pretty good, really.

8/13/99: Not terrible, but it's getting a little bit excessively random. "Suspicious" should be "suspicions." The first paragraph is better than the second.

3/13/09: I can't work out why this section is in past tense. I'd like it more in future tense. Otherwise, I think it's pretty funny.

4/13/36: Not too bad, but again, I'm sensing a missed opportunity here. Either a "no need to panic" tone about something that requires panic, or an EVERYBODY PANIC tone about something that doesn't. Right now, I'm not clear on what the article's doing or what the point has been.

Concept: 6 The concept here is that actual Friday the 13ths are not a big deal: the lede makes that claim, and the article proves it. That's kind of straightforward. It might be better to write an EVERYBODY PANIC lede and then have all your examples be... well, roughly what they are: attempts to support the idea that EVERYBODY SHOULD PANIC that are, in fact, extremely lame and induce no panic at all.
Prose and formatting: 8 No complaints about the prose. The formatting's a little ugly, what with all the short sections. You might consider ===sub-sections=== instead of drawing horizontal lines all over the page. I also don't like how The Count's picture is GIANT and the Raelian picture is teeny tiny.
Images: 7 They're fine, even if I don't totally love their placement.
Miscellaneous: 7.5 Seven point five is an arbitrary number I pulled out of my ass.
Final Score: 36 In my opinion, it's a good little article. It's too short to be a feature and could use some more consistency with respect to its concept, but the writing's good and I was amused reading it. Thanks for writing it!
Reviewer: Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 00:12, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
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