I'd appreciate someone reviewing this article. Its a short read, and I do plan to expand, but I'd really like feedback on what I've done and where I need to improve. Thanks.
The end paragraph is funny. But the first one is confusing. Possibly make them into more paragraphs? I found myself getting lost.
Concept:
8
Its a funny concept. I like the idea of him discovering it whilst near a "pee stream"
Prose and formatting:
2
You really need to correct your structure. Try adding another heading at the second paragraph and making the first paragraph a little less confusing.
Images:
0
Sorry - I'd like to give you points but there are no pictures - whatsoever! I know you have only done a draft so far. I would really like to see this story continue. I suggest putting in an animation of the coconut falling on fishers head. Then another picture of fisherism.
Miscellaneous:
9
I really loved it. I love the name. The only thing is that it is confusing.
Final Score:
24
Good start. Please continue. I would love to see where this goes.
