Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Fisherism

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edit Fisherism

I'd appreciate someone reviewing this article. Its a short read, and I do plan to expand, but I'd really like feedback on what I've done and where I need to improve. Thanks.

Rbpolsen Come Rant · Come Look at all My Crap 21:04, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Humour: 5 The end paragraph is funny. But the first one is confusing. Possibly make them into more paragraphs? I found myself getting lost.
Concept: 8 Its a funny concept. I like the idea of him discovering it whilst near a "pee stream"
Prose and formatting: 2 You really need to correct your structure. Try adding another heading at the second paragraph and making the first paragraph a little less confusing.
Images: 0 Sorry - I'd like to give you points but there are no pictures - whatsoever! I know you have only done a draft so far. I would really like to see this story continue. I suggest putting in an animation of the coconut falling on fishers head. Then another picture of fisherism.
Miscellaneous: 9 I really loved it. I love the name. The only thing is that it is confusing.
Final Score: 24 Good start. Please continue. I would love to see where this goes.
Reviewer: A random
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