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This needs... um... something... huh... agh, just someone review it, please.-- 20100814 - 04:22 (UTC)
| This Falcon will no hesitate to peck out your eyes if you review this article. That is probably because PeregrineFalcon999 has booked it. You have been warned.|
I'll do this sometime today.--(CUN) 22:12, September 16, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||Hey Lyth. I hope none of these comments are gonna sound harsh or anything – but they are quite true. If you just ignore that and concentrate on what I actually have to say, I know we can really improve this article. Then let’s get on with it, shall we?
There isn’t much greatly funny here. There are a few chucklesome moments splattered throughout the article, but they are at uneven intervals and there are to few of them. I feel you are afraid to put too many jokes in because it could ruin your style and feel of the article. That’s probably not true, but that’s kind of the impression here- you’re holding back with the laughs. And you shouldn’t do that – you really need to try to fit a bit more funny into this.
Humor is always good if you space your jokes – give the reader a space to breath so the next joke can hit him harder. That’s just a natural rule of humor. Because of this, I’m not asking you to overload your article with jokes. But try and juice some more humor out of this! This concept will not be the easiest to use – there’s nothing greatly special about ferns, so unless you just made up many random facts, or wrote about it as if it is something it isn’t, then it will very hard to get some humor here. But I know you’re a good writer, so you can improve this. Humor wise, this isn’t your greatest work.
While we’re on the subject of humor, I want to urge you to add some different styles of laughs into this. At the moment it’s all facts. Ok, that’s not bad – you can definitely make facts funny. But it’s always good to try out some different types of humor. I think this is important, because I can’t see much variety in here. HTBFANJS is a good place to look for other types of humor, but looking through featured articles on similar subjects as yours is always good for some inspiration.
The last point I want to make here is also very important. At the moment your article reads a lot like a Wikipedia article – it probably is suppost to, but that’s not the point. Your article doesn’t have much of a direction – it’s facts upon facts upon facts. There’s not much meaning behind the overall article.
You’ve got to take a step back here and think about what you want to say about ferns. Are they evil? Awesome? Dead pan boring? You make small notes here and there that they are highly evolved, but this concept hasn’t been molded into something proper. You want to give your readers an impression of what these plants are like. It will make it more interesting, and therefore keep the reader hooked.
|Concept:||5.5||You’ve chosen a very hard subject to use here! But that’s not a surprise – you DO have a habit for picking strange topics to write about. The only problem is that you’re just going to have to work harder to get good humor out if this subject – because it isn’t exactly rich with humor potential. But you have probably realized that by now. However, you’re a good writer, and I know you can juice some more humor out of this, as you have done with all your other peculiar subjects.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||This section is pretty average. A few points, however…
I know you wanted to write your article in a very Wikipedia style tone, with big words and complicated sentences. That can definitely be good way to write an article. But at the moment it’s just not working for me. It gets a bit confusing, and a little dreary at time, which puts the reader off. I think you may need to make it a little less complicated without ruining the style here. This should not be too hard so you should have a go at fixing this.
Because you have this continuous style, the article gets a little repetitive. Nothing really new pops up – it’s just like a Wikipedia article. Try and experiment with other types of humor and facts so there is a bit of variety. That way the reader knows there is going to be more different stuff further on, and continues reading – always try and make something new jump up along the article.
On the subject of formatting, your article is pretty much perfect, so no great changes to be made here. Yoru spelling and grammar is also perfect (I think).
|Images:||5||I never thought there were going to be any particularly funny pictures in here – but that’s not a bad thing. You will just need some good captions. Unfortunately, you haven’t quite hit the mark with yours. You need to work on them a bit.
Captions are every important, and can add a lot of humor into an article. Spend some time on these to get the best ones you can think of, because a good caption is always great.
|Miscellaneous:||5.625||Averaged your scores.|
|Final Score:||28.125||Sory that wasn't overly in depth, but I've covered a lot of things, and all that are important to lifting up the quality bar of this article.
I can see you’ve worked a bit on this. However, it still needs a large measure of improvement before it is ready for VFH and such. I hope these scores weren’t too harsh, but you really have to concentrate on my points, especially adding more humor in and the other stuff in the humor section. I hope this was at least a little helpful. See ya!
|Reviewer:||--(CUN) 05:39, September 17, 2010 (UTC)|