Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Fecesbook

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edit Fecesbook

A rather obvious mockery of Facebook.Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 19:15, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

John Lydon Pee Tag Fear Not! John Lydon
is here to Pee all over you!

If he hasn't reviewed it
within 24 hours, remove this
tag and call the paramedics. He probably OD'ed again.

Humour: 7 To be honest, I didn't think this was going to be a very funny read. Facebook is huge and lampooning it is a daunting task to say the least. Also, I may be the last person on the planet without a facebook account so I was worried that I might not get some of the jokes that were based on Facebook's features. I have to say, you pulled it off very well. Even though I'm not familiar with Facebook, I was easily able to follow the article. That's a huge plus. I imagine that someone who is a facebook user would find this article even funnier than I did.

The links were also a nice touch. I'm not sure if there was a name for what you did there but I'm going to call it embedded sarcasm. And I like it. A lot. The Data Un-hiding section was hands down my favorite part of this article. The comedy in there is fantastic. I think you really did an outstanding job there.

There aren't a whole lot of suggestions I can make here for two reasons, 1. You did a really good job with the article, and 2. I'm not familiar with facebook. What I can say is this. I found the constant ripping on Facebook users got old near the end of the article. A lot of it was really funny stuff, but towards the end of the article, I found myself saying "I get it, they're morons." I think this could be easily remedied by removing some of the jokes that aren't key to the article itself. For example, this paragraph; "To remedy these unfortunate scenarios, the "poke" button was changed into a "sling feces" button as slinging feces is seen as a more natural response for the sophisticated humans that use Facebook. With this new improvement, users are expected to be able to sling feces in an endless volley of pointless proportions so as to show their superiority over other domesticated primates human dullards",This paragraph contains two cracks on facebook users being stupid in just two sentences. Again, I feel that most of your jabs towards users work really well, I would just suggest weeding a few of the less funny ones out to keep from turning the reader off.

Let me point my soap box away and we'll move on.

Concept: 5 While I thought your article was very well done, Facebook has been done many, many, many times, so I have to deduct points for that. I'm not really in a position to give you much advice on how to expand the article because, as I've stated several times now, I'm not familiar with Facebook. What I would like to see is something from a detractors point of view. You have a praise section, so I think a skepticism section would go nicely. Maybe something along the lines of, 1 guy named John Lydon, refuses to use Facebook because he's afraid it will steal his soul. (Seriously). You could go into how Facebook countered these arguments, maybe they had me killed, paid me off, whatever. I just think it would add a little more to the article without feeling like it was forced in for the sake of length.
Prose and formatting: 8 I thought you did an excellent job of staying consistent throughout the article with your point of view. I don't have any complaints here. I did notice that in the data un-hiding section, the line "serial killers are automatically given.... you put you instead of your. That's how picky I had to be to find anything wrong to put here.
Images: 7 The images here are very good. If you chopped them youself, Kudos for that. They fit very nicely with the article and give it the feel of a magazine article about Fecesbook. The last image, with the monkey, I find funny but I'm not so sure it fits. Like I said the whole article has a tech magazine vibe going on and that picture just doesn't fit the mold. I'm not sure if its the image, location, or the caption but something doesn't jive for me on that one. You also received a bonus point for the subtle Dropkick Murphy reference in the first image. Not sure how many people will get it, but I found it amusing.
Miscellaneous: 6.8 Very well done piece. I didn't think that lampooning Facebook by reverting it to Fecesbook could be done in anything past a first grade humor level, but you really proved me wrong.
Final Score: 33.8 Final Score
Reviewer: --John Lydon 18:17, June 4, 2010 (UTC)
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