Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/ExOps

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

FAQ

edit ExOps

Clay men are just like slugs-they have no basis in reality 19:29, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 2 In my opinion, and remember this is just that, the text in your article is not amusing, it seems rushed and all the punch-lines fall very flat indeed. Yes, we all see what you did with Ben Dover, it isn't good, mnemonic coincidence should not be a cornerstone of your article. The list is boring and is not funny. I was also diligently following all the links and still had no idea what the punch-lines were supposed to be, nobody wants to search for the jokes in an article. Also, while you are using well known game characters for the members list it is no more interesting or amusing for it. Serious revisions needed here if you are going to do anything with this. What you have done is a real shame since the concept could be very funny, time and effort is a must. If you don't fancy doing it add an expand or re-write template and let someone else have a stab at it.
Concept: 4 The concept, or at least the potential for the concept, is the main reason I am reviewing. It could be expanded into a very solid article, again a lack of effort is your downfall. You have such a promising idea and you could expand it so much better with prose rather than a boring list that is quick and easy to make. If you are determined to remain with the current format try and be much more in-depth, the idea is there, the execution is not.
Prose and formatting: 1 I think I would be justified is asking, what prose? you have a rushed introductory paragraph that would be best removed altogether. Also please proofread your work or at least run it through UN:PS, bad grammar just makes reading the small amount of prose even more laborious. Have a look at what the author of SAS has done, they have a similar concept but astronomically more prose than you.
Images: 5 The two images you have are reasonable, the explosion image compliments the tone you are striking for the article very well and was the only part that I felt did so successfully, the image of the vehicle seems to compliment a joke that is not funny anyway. Re-write or expand and then reconsider some of your images, images of people destroying stuff would work wonders, you could even use an image from Valve's Left 4 Dead of the Vietnam veteran mowing down hordes of zombies. BUT rewrite and then consider images, they are secondary to content.
Miscellaneous: 2 My overall grade of the article.
Final Score: 14 You have a good idea that is marred by poor execution and a lack of conviction. Get fixing this or suggest that somebody else does before it is deleted forever. Don't be discouraged by the negativity of this review, effort is all that is needed to make this a great article; I'm sure, even if you don't think that this is a good use of your time, you will be able to find someone on here willing to help, add the templates I suggested above or get your finger out and do it yourself. Whatever you choose to do, good luck.
Reviewer: --ChiefjusticeDS 21:49, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
Personal tools
projects