Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Evil Jesus

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edit Evil Jesus

A VFD save. With the amount of articles on the que, I figure if it needs a VFH nom it can sit on here for seven days unless someone really has a need to take on Evil Jesus, a damning experience on a good day. If you do wander by and pick this up, thanks, and no hurry in terms of 24 hour limit of somethin'. I guess I'm just interested if a Jesus article can get featured if it's put up, and will check how many have. Thanks.

Aleister 21:15 22 7

The page was created and nurtured by Zim, and at some point he took his eye off of it and the IP's moved in and carried it off. One of the things I did to save it was revert it back to a 2007 version, and then I wrote and edited and pics and edited and wrote. Darn IP's. So now it's a collab by Zim and myself. Still haven't found any Jesus articles which were featured, so it'd be fun to break the glass ceiling. Thanks again if you take this. Aleister 21:06 31 7
Evil Jesus awaits a pee review, eating only loaf and fishheads. He prays at times, but waits, as if in a desert. Aleister 23:53 2 8
I am now officially drunk enough to say that I'll review this. But not while drunk. You don't want that, oh, no. No, I'll review it later. Sometime in the next day, give or take a time zone. ~ Pointy Arajlas *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100808 - 04:37 (UTC)
Humour: 6 So... huh. I dunno.

So what happens if one doesn't avoid them sources of exctoplasm? What does the Evil Jesus do? Is he still drunk?

I like how he's referred to as 'annoying at worst'.

  • Childhood - mmm, accuracy. Gotta love it. I forgot what I was going to say beyond that, though, so you probably did well.
Saying 'this is all we know' seems a little needless or redundant or just improper or something. I dunno. Just doesn't fit. This section just seems odd in general, syntactically, though...
  • Adulthood - he rode a newborn donkey? o__O On the other hand, this is no average ass-crushing drunk guy, so nevermind. I dunno.
  • Baptism - Why were these folks being baptised at all? At least he treated it properly, screwing the folks over, but...

Pity so few parables survived. It'd be funny to see more of this drunken instruction. Although I just noticed some phrases that got worked in that are rather good; taking things from the bible or some such... um, good. That.

  • Miracles - Why are these Miracles:etc sections? why not subsections of a Miracles section or something?
The sick - I was actually expecting him to get them drunk, but I suppose this works too. Same effect, anyhow. Though why did the bartabs grow from this? Oh, and nice move on the toenails.
Loaf and fishes - not much of a miracle. Perhaps it needs more. Perhaps... less? I don't know. Really. I don't.
Wine - it does? What does? Not all of the readers are entirely awake, you know.
  • Rising from the dead - Merp.
  • Virgin question - not much of a controversy... just an unknown. What do people say about it to make it such an issue? Why does it matter? What evidences are there? At least it keeps to the ness of the rest of it (poor little underage mother).


Concept: 6 Well, what an odd... um... huh. Honestly, he just doesn't seem overly evil. Redneck evil, perhaps... but drunks are drunks. Is that evil? I mean, what is evil, even? Clichés aside, there be all sorts, and a drunkard is all rather... um... something.

You know?

Or is cruelty evil? I guess he is rather evil...

Anyhow, as Jesii go, I guess this one's okay... evil, after all. Decent concept, lends itself well to amusement... though it doesn't seem to really get into the dirty thieving whoring drunken guy ness that defines the majority of the article until after the beginning. It starts so... sane and vague, I guess. Or something. On the other hand, maybe that's a good thing. Or is it?

Prose and formatting: 6 Eh, mostly okay. Probably needs a proofreading, but I dunno how much was intentional. Problem is, it doesn't seem overly consistent. I mean, needinth?
Images: 5 Poor Evil Jesus... doesn't even get all decently chopped images. Really, pixilatedness? Okay, so that's mostly just the first one... the rest, anyhow... not bad at all. Especially the captions. Except for the clown one. It seems so mundane...

And holy crap, that last image is animated... um... actually, that doesn't really change much. I normally wouldn't even have noticed, but firefox doesn't seem to have an option to turn that off. Anyhow, the gist of it seems to show either way, so whatever.

Miscellaneous: 6 Number! That's for what it seems to be to me, not for what it seems like it should be or would seem like to someone sane. Or something.
Final Score: 29 I'm not even going to say I hope this helps, though I do... it just doesn't seem very likely. I'ma instead say I hope this even makes some sense, say, more than a winged walrus lulling on a beach, and then run away screaming that the walri are coming, the walri are coming! Except they're not walri at all; they're just a drunk guy trying to steal my shinies and I'm too delirious to tell the difference... except maybe he turned into a walrus. Maybe... um... maybe...

Maybe I shouldn't try to review things when this out of it.


Okay, semi-sane comment: Cleanup for consistency and flow are most of what this needs. Better than most of the Jesii already... yeah.

Reviewer: ~ Pointy Arajlas *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20100809 - 05:13 (UTC)
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