I took this and rewrote it. It needs to be improved though, and I don't have any real ideas. I need a real in-depth review and need lots of advice on how to improve this. Thanks. Staircase CUNt 20:19, 4 July 2009 (UTC)
Oh boy, a Carrey critique. I got this one. Saberwolf116 01:56, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
Hmm. Well, Steps, I can see where you're trying to with this one, but I think that your article is much too blunt. Right now, your humor is the sort of "hit-you-over-the-head-with-the-joke" kind of humor. Based on the first few paragraphs, I got the impression that you thought Jim Carrey was a bad actor and wanted to write an article that conveyed this. That's all fine, but you need to be a bit more subtle with your humor- don't bluntly tell the reader the concept of your article. Example: This was able to be accomplished because all of the movies follow the exact same plot. OK, that tells me that you don't like his movies and this article is largely going to be a criticism of him. You need to go with a more subtle theme, and make sure that your idea is probable (which i'll get into below).
I like the idea of Carrey splicing together all of his films, but you need to make sure your concept is consistent and plausible. For example, you say that he needed to rebound from Yes Man, yet that film was made in 2008 and this one was released in 2007. You might want to change the release date from 2007 to 2009, because that kind of bugged me. Anyways, you say that this article is about every Jim Carrey film ever made. You could make that a good parody, but you need to make sure you at least make some passing reference to more of his films- after all, the article is about every Jim Carrey film ever made. I'd recommend you expand your plot summary so that it seems like it connects Jim Carrey's movies. Find the plots of some of the films he has done, and combine them so that they seem consistent. If you wanted to throw a curveball in, you might want to take a look at his (critically panned) suspense film The Number 23, and maybe throw that in the works somewhere. It'll take a lot of work to make the article live up to it's title, but if you execute it right, it could be on the front page.
Prose and formatting:
Overall, pretty decent grammar- a few spelling errors here and there, but no major problems. The main thing I want to address here is the placement of your sections and the amount of content in each of them. As a general rule, plot summary usually comes first in a movie article, so you might want to switch that around. The "Production" section seems very long when compared to the Plot section, so i'd recommend expanding that section with the advice I gave you.
Your first image was a nice photoshop from Sonje (like she could make a bad one), so good job on that. Your second image falls into line with the whole "overstating the joke" thing, so you might want to change it if you're going to change your style.
My overall grade of the article.
I think this has a lot of potential and could be made into a great article, but you need to make sure you have the right style and execution. To reiterate, make sure you expand the Jim Carrey's entire filmography. Research some of his older and lesser known films, and try to incorporate elements of those into your article. I hope you keep working on this, Steps- it's a good article, but it could be so much better if you develop it some more.
Bottom Line: Expand the scope of the movies you talk about, and try not to be so obvious with the points you make. Good luck! =)