Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Epic Beard Man (resubmit)

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edit Epic Beard Man

I really tried to focus on the advice that ChiefjusticeDS gave in his review the first time around. I find that I am much happier with the article after making some of the changes suggested and may even be able to get off my depression medication now. --John Lydon 15:59, June 4, 2010 (UTC)

I'll do it today. InMooseWeTrust 09:58, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
Humour: 8 Pretty good with the gangsta humor, and racial implications that go along with it. Look to the Wikipedia article, and see if you can satirize more aspects of the situation.

The quotes are unfunny. In fact, you're probably better off sticking some Oscar Wilde, Captain Obvious, etc. quotes (not specifically these ones from the article now) at the beginning of the article and replacing the racial section with... well... you can figure it out. Yeah. Templates like {{Wikipediapar|article name|description text}} and {{Citation needed}} are also very good to have because they add to the interconnectedness of the article. To further this, you can also search for more things that you can link to with this article.

Concept: 6 I like the overall concept of you satirizing the Epic Bear Man incident, but it seems like you held back a lot on the humor. There's way more you can do with this article, especially in the racial and spaz departments.
Prose and formatting: 4 You make a lot of little grammar mistakes. For example, you italicize the quotes AFTER already putting them in quotation markts. You forget possessives. You don't use hyphens. If you use Firefox, it spellchecks things for you (not perfect, but oh well).

Keep everything consistently in past tense when referring to the situation, and everything in present tense when describing the video. Just like in English Wikipedia, you don't use title case (capitalization rule) when writing titles of subsections. "He continues to rain down massive rights to the black man while the whore who is filming screams about Rodney King." I don't get it... Black Man is angry. The black man is angry. See the difference? There is a lot more to correct, and I know I didn't get everything. Well, you can figure out the rest or get it done by someone else.

Images: 8 There's nothing terribly exciting about these pictures. I mean, they're not BAD or anything, but they don't really stand out or add to the effect much.
Miscellaneous: 6 Add some categories, and maybe some more "See also" and "Trivia" sections to add to the overall humor.
Final Score: 32 See all of the above.
Reviewer: InMooseWeTrust 09:56, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
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