Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Dominican Republic
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Evangelist182 18:46, August 17, 2010 (UTC)
I'm not sure if I should expand the article a bit more, because I've seen some country articles that are just too long and not that funny, which makes them lose quality.
|Humour:||8||First, my usual disclaimer: Don't take my number grades too seriously. A specific disclaimer: All I know about the DR is what I used to hear during annual trips to Puerto Rico for winter baseball. I'm the curator of other Latin country articles such as Peru, Venezuela, and El Humidor.|
The humor is good, a little too self-referential, a little bit of unexplained slams in place of humor. Hangs together well.
|Concept:||8||Nothing wrong with the concept. We need an article on the DR, and thanks for stepping in to clean this one up. The country is eminently open to ridicule.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||Prose is good with only occasional blemishes. You got on my good side by putting "nation" in quotes in the intro, but my bad side with the chatty "But who cares about that? Let's get to the facts." Keep yourself out of the narrative, at least through the intro, whose job is to suck me in so I read the rest. ChiefjusticeDS was right to axe the Captain Obvious quote.|
Climate? Nuff said. History? Merely calling Columbus a douche (with photo) is a slam, not a joke, unless you can relate it better to reality. Also too much emphasis on feces, anus, nude wives, gayness, you get the picture. I feel that some of these are sprinkled in as memes, and they aren't as funny just left there on the page as actual humor would be.
Industries (a better catch-all title would be "Economy"): good, but again, some of the jokes are merely slaps. This-and-that "is a big shithole"--not as funny as would be a sentence that explains why. The country's absence from the "physical plane" for 31 years is remarkable--there ought to be an entire section on this.
I hope Section 8 is temporary; you need to send the reader away with a special kick, not just the statement that Dominicans will drink anything that contains alcohol (although it's true).
Coño comes to be spelled "conio" later on in the article. Unfortunately, you only used the word "very" once; perhaps with an initial explanation to the reader, I'd change this to Coño, and sprinkle the word around liberally in other places. It's hot. Coño, it's hot! Surely better to have Coño than "Yay!".
There are a few encyclopedia clichés: "this is generally dismissed as subversive propaganda"--"Consequently, questions have been asked...as to whether"--Get rid of this gas and simply make assertions.
|Images:||5||An adequate number of pix (except the douche, 'cause I don't think merely asserting that Columbus was a douche is funny enough). Just photographing poverty isn't funny, again, but just a slap. Several of the captions seem to be mere observations about the photo, and should become funny in their own right.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||All my miscellaneous is set out above.|
|Final Score:||37||You've touched all the important bases. Don't be afraid to let the article get a little longer. Move away from THINGS you hope will be inherently funny, and toward explanations of why the DR is dysfunctional or absurd. Change the slams to explanations--This will not just make it funnier but free you from a lifetime of reverting vandalism from in-country. Good luck!|