Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Disorganised crime (2nd try)

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Revision as of 01:52, August 21, 2009 by Guildensternenstein (talk | contribs)

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edit Disorganised crime

The first review made Guildy furious. I'm quite proud of that. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  19:28, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

I'll give it a go. There's no I in RAPE (lol contribs) 19:39 Aug 20, 2009
Probably the angriest I've ever been at someone/something over the internet. Admittedly, that still doesn't translate into much real-life anger, but still. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:52, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
Spyecksdee

Oh, please. Ze spy is backstabbing reviewing this article.

Humour: 6 While it was kind of funny at some points, I had some difficulty understanding where you were trying to get the humor from. Is this meant to outright hilarity, or is it more of a subtle satire? By the time I was done reading it, I was pretty sure you were aiming for the latter, but it really shouldn't take me that long to get it, because many readers don't have the patience to read entire articles. Shame, isn't it?
Concept: 7 I like this idea. I'm not even sure why I like it, but I do. Maybe it's the clear and outright ridiculing of the Mob. Probably not. Good idea, though.
Prose and formatting: 9 A very well-written article. Hell, I'm normally a grammar Nazi, and I was happy with this piece of work. I only noticed a few instances were you needed to capitalize letters (for example, the section title "The future"), as well as a couple of parts where words could have been rearranged to sound better. Other than that, you clearly have a good understanding of the English language (I don't get to say that often enough).
Images: 9 I liked the images a lot. It looks to me like you've got the ability to both choose pictures that support and are relevant to the article and write captions that add to the humor of the pictures. No further work is needed here.
Miscellaneous: 8 Cool article bro.
Final Score: 39 If you feel like making revisions, your top priority should probably be trying to make it more clear that this is going to be a satire. You could probably doing that by making the intoductory paragraph more... satirical. Right now it's a bit too serious, so much so that you can't decipher whether you're reading an article on Uncyclopedia or Encyclopedia Britannica.
Reviewer: There's no I in RAPE (lol contribs) 20:15 Aug 20, 2009
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