I suck at positioning images, so anyone able to fix the formatting so that images don't bleed over in to the next section? The Moses picture at the bottom is a good example of this problem.
Concernedresident 17:12, December 28, 2010 (UTC)
Fixed the bleed over issue. --—John Lydon 14:20, January 7, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks both of you for the fixes and the feedback. I'll go do some work. Concernedresident 00:41, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
Good use of humour here, thanks for that. Initially, I was skeptical about the use of this topic, but you've proven me wrong. However, that doesn't mean there aren't some problems with it. The main issue I'm seeing is the lack of expansion. The beginning should be expanded, the 40 bullets should be expanded, etc. You have a maximum of about three sentences in most of the sub-titles and there are definitely some things that could added to these sections to continue the humour. Especially with the Troy section, which I know could've been made bigger and expanded the humour, which was cut too short and didn't flow very well. Overall, good job making this article more funny than I had expected.
Like I said, I was skeptical, but you pulled it of. Well, except for those critiques above.
Prose and formatting:
Shame, but you need to re-read this article again and look for grammar errors and incoherent sentences. For example 'The Lord of the Rings trilogy features multiple scenes where robots resolve issues, the writer otherwise unable to devise an exciting situation that would give his characters any hope of survival.' I get your idea, but this sentence doesn't make sense because the flow is off. Just look over this again and check for issues in the design.
I liked your images, but you might want to add maybe one more, or a couple, especially if you choose to expand your sections, which I strongly advise you do. Your Troy picture was good and your second one was relatively good. There's something about the caption, but that's probably just an issue on my part. The main thing is, add one or two more pictures.
I give it a 7 because I know that this article has the potential to be put up on the main page, provided it is worked on. I like the idea and the sections, but just look for expansion and with that, a couple more pictures. I know that with some work, this will turn out to be a fantastic article
Overall, good job. Just make sure to 1. Expand the sections, especially the really short ones, because those can be stretched to make the joke last longer and not end so abruptly, 2. Re-read the article to check for any grammar and sentence errors, and 3. Work the pictures, but this one is totally optional and up to you because I know how difficult it can be to find a decent picture nowadays. Any questions or comments, just leave a message and I'll be more than glad to get back on it. I hope to see this article on the main page one day, good luck.