Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Decline

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Revision as of 15:23, May 2, 2008 by BlueYonder (talk | contribs)

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edit Decline

This is my first article. I'm wondering. What do you think. --Nothing 04:19, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 5.7 Well, it's not too bad for a first article, and I can see you did make an effort in the humour area, but ultimatley it lacks any really biting humour, because ultimatley it seems a little repetative and loose. The whole idea of literal 'decline' had potential, but got a bit bland after a while; maybe you could have spiced it up a little by, say, drawing a parallel with depression, or masturbation, or anything to which the theme of 'decline' could be applied-you can never have enough variety of content.
Concept: 6.3 Well, it's solid enough, I suppose, and your article makes a fairly good send-up of the dictionary definition of Decline, but ultimatley I don't think it's a great idea to start your career at Uncyclopedia with such an open-ended topic like this that's so very hard to manipulate in a truly humourous way. You had some good ideas here, but I don't think they were really developed to their full potential, and they were missing something. Like I said, perhaps you'd be a bit more comfortable with some narrower topics that don't require so many areas to be filled.
Prose and formatting: 6 Dissapointing, mate. Not horrific by any means, but dissapointing. There were some rather careless errors (misspellings like "Basicly", fragments like "Cause getting out of a decline is hard", etc.) I know these look like small things, and in reality they are, but they really have a tendency to detract from the article, because they stand out. They're common errors that happen to most people, but pay a little more attention in that area and your stuff should come out fine. No complaints regarding formatting.
Images: 6 Not bad, I suppose...that stair image is good and appropriate. On the other hand, that 'sidewards' picture could have been anything-perhaps you could have gone for something a bit more eye-catching and a bit less random than two old people in a dull room. Still, the images do help break the text, as images should.
Miscellaneous: 6 Averaged, as usual.
Final Score: 30 Ultimatley, you show promise here, but I think you should choose your topic more carefully next time. A few months of experience, and I'm sure you could conquer a topic like this. Good night and good luck!
Reviewer: BlueYonder 15:20, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
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