Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cross Country

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edit Cross Country

Ellemonopy 02:17, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Overall, this is a very funny article, despite the mediocre score which I will explain. A topic like this has great potential to be hilarious but many of the jokes seem to be ruined in some way or another. For example, the one on the Frisbee goes on a bit too long to be funny. Something like that should be one line and done. The gatorade thing about the frisbee doesn't work. Another example is that other jokes, such as girls and boys in the sport are nervous around each other (I think that was the joke) are too short for people to really understand. You could also extend and add parts about how cross-country runners run to feel cool, but since its a joke of a sport its useless.
Concept: 4 This is a good concept. The topic is classic and many people agree that it is a joke of a sport and this can have great potential. The only problem I see with this is that your view seems to change alot. Much of this article has a sarcastic tone, while another major portion seems to be serious and poking fun and its all mixed. I personally have a hard time deciding whether you are a cross country runner poking fun at a few funny things cross- country people do, or a football player who views runners as a joke. Having a set view point in which you talk the whole time would improve this alot. For example, you use awesome alot but so much, sometimes it seems like you actually mean it. Saying things like, they THINK they are awesome or are disillusioned to think they are would help clear where you stand.
Prose and formatting: 8 This article is written very well. The formatting is good for the most part and everything fits. There are four things I can say about it though. First, you use "level of awesome" and it should be "level of awesomeness". Petty but everything counts. Next maybe rearrange your list to the most important people on a cross country team to the least important. Third the list about what they do has to be fixed up because there aren't bullets for all of em. Finally, one line paragraphs should be avoided, like in the second one of the procedure paragraph.
Images: 6 There are enough pictures, they just aren't that funny. I guess they aid the article, just more originality could work. Now I personally don't like the two pictures at the same level at the same place on the opposite side of the articles. Finally, I don't quite understand the mountain pictures, either explain it better or change it. Otherwise they are good.
Miscellaneous: 6 Averaged
Final Score: 30 Very good. Good concept. A little confusing. Could be funnier, definitely needs improvement but still good job. Good luck!
Reviewer: --Tagstit 03:47, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
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