Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cripple

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edit Cripple

Lunaquois 22:08, 15 October 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 5 The humour here is weak at best. The article starts off with a genuinely good Oscar Wilde quote (a rare occurrence indeed) and a passable first paragraph, but then trails off rather fast. The best part of the article is the short paragraph on assholes. Otherwise, masturbation references and lists of random content do not a successful joke make. I felt that the classes of cripples e.g. social implications, etc. could be greatly expanded. Let HTBFANJS be your holy book on this one. For an Uncyclopedia article, I would recommend removing all references to LOL and ROFL, unless they are ironic ones, in which case: my bad lol. (!)
Concept: 4 The reason there is no humour is because there is no particular concept to the article. Cripple could be interpreted in many different ways -- it's your interpretation that gives you direction. So for example, I might write a cripple article about the life cycle of the cripple, or a cripple's diary, or Cripple Mr. Onion, or The Cripple And The Asshole. This would give some basis from which jokes can be developed. If you find yourself desperately seeking a concept for your article, just browse through featured articles -- there's a wide range of angles out there, ripe for the stealing. I mean, subtly stealing.
Prose and formatting: 4 Articles that have long lists of random content look very bad. People don't want to read lists made up of unrelated, unfunny one-liners. This article has five of these lists, none of which really have any content. Your sentences and general prose aren't bad at all, but there just isn't enough of that sort of content to warrant a higher score. I highly recommend a style guide of some sort to help with encyclopaedic formatting.
Images: 6.5 Decent images and captions, I like them all. Would be better if they were focused on adding to the humour of an article. The Mexican one is a good start.
Miscellaneous: 4.9 Average of the other scores.
Final Score: 24.4 If I wanted to change this article, I would begin with a tin of kerosene and a flintstone. I hugely recommend a rethink from the ground up -- Cripple could be so much more.
Reviewer: IronLung 09:43, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
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