Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Crazed Gunman Holds Up Helpless Kitties, Cat lovers despair

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edit UnNews:Crazed Gunman Holds Up Helpless Kitties, Cat lovers despair

Alexandros 17:17, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Most of what is wrong with this article is tied up with the prose and formatting. Generally I do think this article needs expansion to let in more jokes.
Concept: 7 I can see where you coming from with this, people being more concerned about animals (especially cute ones) than people (especially the ugly ones). It’s a pretty British concept actually as (apparently) we’re a very animal orientated country. And it was pretty good it’s just you had some strange stuff in there like the swat team reading to blind children. Why not stuck in traffic?
Prose and formatting: 5 Bolden NEW YORK CITY, New York. Add some links. Paragraph properly and make this article look nice. Again the template is sorta redundant. There were a few typos in this one that you need to clear up. Also I think you should expand your ideas in this a bit more. Go into more detail about why the gunman was shooting exactly and what kind of sandwich he asked for during the hostage situation and make more of a story of it. Interview people about this too and the harrowing situations even interview the PJ character.

Also you need a better opening. What I think you should say in the opening is something like “A crazed gunman held up a cat today causing much despair among cat lovers. The gunman drew his gun, fired rapidly killing several people in the process and then proceeded to point it at a helpless kitty named Max” as opening lines are important they need to sound sensational set up the story as you will then go on to explain why the gunman was shooting what he does during the hold up and how he eventually dies.

Images: 6 Though slightly overused these images were relevant and still fun enough to make me smile. Though you could try maybe photo-shopping a new image with an angry mob of people half dressed in cat costumes.
Miscellaneous: 6 Averaged.
Final Score: 30 If you’d like to thank/insult/ask me about anything please visit my talk page.
Reviewer: Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|Icons-flag-gbOrian57 07:04, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
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