Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Crayons

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search


edit Crayons

SilveryMinnow 04:47, 24 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 7 this is pretty good actually. though it does need expansion. maybe expand into "illegal crayons" and or the "crayon underworld" like some sort of crayon cult maybe. just a few suggestions as over all the article is a little short. but i did really like the "for adults" bit.
Concept: 7 i like how you turned crayons into a drug. it kinda worked, and as well as a drug you turned them into deadly art utencils (which, if nothing else, shows you have a fantastically weird imagination).
Prose and formatting: 6 your prose was ok, but a little confused in a couple of places like the second paragraph; it kinda back peddled on the article and then wasn't really funny or relevent, probably best just to get rid (sporking stuff from wikipedia and adding in cocain is rarely funny). and the line at the end of "Adults Only" made little gramaticle sense and was too confused to be funny, i sugest just getting rid of it. everything else (spelling, grammar et al) seemed to be ok but you definitly need a few more links. oh and remember you need boldness for the first mention of the articles subject, so:
"Europe was the birthplace of the “modern” crayon"

just a minor thing to keep in mind. (i always forget too)

Images: 6 5 images for an article this size really is too many. it looks to crowded you see, so i suggest you get rid of at least two of them (the "i has a crayon" and the "pride flag" are the least relevent (*hint hint*)) however your other pics were quite good the mutant one should probably be made bigger so that it is clearer (you can afford to do this with the absence of the other one). and the gif of the kid drawing was really good! the one at the top, though pretty and relevent, wasn't esspecially funny. get a picture of a stupid looking person and keep the caption you have, this will be funnier as it implies the homer simpson idea (do not use homer simpson though).
Miscellaneous: 6.5 (averaged other scores)

why not try adding some more categories to get your article noticed a bit, drug categories or dangerous items categories would be a good place to start.

Final Score: 32.5 yeah if you have anything to ask about please go to my talk page
Reviewer: Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|Icons-flag-gbOrian5720:17 26/04/08
Personal tools