Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Command & Conquer: Read Alert 3

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edit Command & Conquer: Read Alert 3

ASHPD 10:18, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

UUtea A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter UU Manhole
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).

OK, brace yourself for the official 100th UU review! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:29, Mar 9

Humour: 2 Oh dear, this isn't going to be pretty I'm afraid. Basically, what we have here is a very random article. This kind of thing tends to end up on VFD. The reasons for this are fairly simple:
  1. Random. PLEASE read HTBFANJS. That explains the kind of thing we're aiming for around here. Not an article that jumps from a game to Japan to the Democrats via Pikachu, Heroes, Godzilla, Soviet Propaganda and much much more. This kind of thing would fit in much better over at Illogicopedia.
  2. Overused memes. Seriously, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, Mr T, Russian Reversal and the like are massively old news now. They don't really add much to an article except the "oh no, not again" factor.
  3. No coherent concept. Articles that jump from idea to idea like this with no consistency or warning are very difficult to follow. There could be a couple of comedic gems buried under here, but it's so hard to follow that I just don't know, or can't find them for all the other stuff. Sometimes, less is more, OK?
Concept: 2 I don't think you have one - this article staggers all over the place. Well, maybe you have about 10 that you're trying to cram into one article. Either way, it's difficult to follow this article, and that really isn't good. Try to focus on just one of your ideas, and get an article that's consistent. That's the first step on the road to funny.
Prose and formatting: 4 Most of this score is for some half decent formatting, and not that many spelling mistakes (apart from the likes of "commandereed" instead of "commandeered").
Images: 4 Well, there are some, but they appear to be about as random as the text. Difficult to score, because they're not bad as such, but on the other hand, they are in keeping with the rest of the article - disjointed and nothing special.
Miscellaneous: 3 Averaged.
Final Score: 15 OK, so this is a low score and looks like a hatchet job. But it's not intended as one - and please don't take it personally. First up, if this kind of thing is what you're all about, there are places for it such as Illogicopedia, you may find it fits in quite nicely over there. Second up, several of our better writers started off writing stuff like this - you only get better by writing more, and taking advice on board. The advice here is to read HTBFANJS and have a look through Uncyclopedia:Best of to see the kind of things that work around here. Then trim the ideas down to one central idea, and write about that. You can always create articles for your other ideas, or add them to the relevant existing pages if you think they'll make an improvement. Remember, many of the best writers keep looking at HTBFANJS - it's not just something we link to to tell you we think there's no hope for you, it's something that can help make people better comedy writers.

I'd also advise moving this to your userspace if you want to carry on working on it, because once I remove the pee review tag (which I will as it's been reviewed), it's likely to find its way to VFD sooner or later. If you don't know how to move to your userspace, ask me, I'll do it for you. Then you can work on it to your heart's content until you think it's sufficiently improved. Then get another review. If it's significantly better than this one, move it back to mainspace, and smile art a job well done!

Reviewer: --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:01, Mar 9

Remember: this is only my opinion, others are available, and good luck.

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