Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Class of 3000
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This is my second time putting this article through Pee Review. Basically, what I'm looking for is advice. I feel it does need improvement, but I'm not exactly sure where to start.
Before you read, I want you to keep these things in mind that I cannot stress enough:
- It is not "cruft". To be honest, I made this article to make fun of the show. But then, I don't know what the proper definition of cruft is, so whatever.
- Don't be harsh. Be fair about it. You're not aiming to destroy a person's work, just help them with it. But you should know this already.
- I am aware that it's not funny, if not half-funny. Like I said, I wrote this one up on a whim and because I hate the show (and to make fun of it).
- Advice. Again. I'd really appreciate it. After all, I want to help this article get better.
Thank you much for your attention and time in advance, and I look forward to working with you on aiding it. -- Hanyouman 13:11, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||3.3||Take a look at an article I did, Kim Possible that's about a show nobody watches that did OK on pee review. Avg of all the following:
You're lucky I've seen the show and kinda know what you're talking about. However, I lowered the score because 99% of the people here won't get it. I also lowered your score due to randomness ("Laffy Taffy joke writer"? "black/peanut butter uprising of 2012"?)
More randomness? Jesus! ("Soggy Barges is a man who likes flan"?? "or "hop-hip" as he somehow calls it"??) Also, the formatting is getting in the way of the jokes. "So he says" is not unfunny, it's a terrible way to start a sentence. Please get rid of all the "so"'s.
Ugh, it's an ungodly list! It's not that bad a list (compared with the songs section), but still: you don't have to mention every single character. In fact: DON'T mention every single character. This, too, has random crap in it.
This is a simply a list. Get rid of it.
You are obviously parodying each episode in a list. I want you to link the title of each of those episodes to whatever the real name is on Wikipedia using this: [[Wikipedia:blah|blah]]
You don't need this. Also, I took points off because there's no real ending to this article.
|Concept:||4||Concepts based around TV shows are very, very tricky. It's almost a gaurantee that nobody watches whatever TV show you think about writing about, unless it's something really popular.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||Lots of weird sentences and hanging paragraphs. Try to smoosh as many paragraphs in to a section as you can.|
|Images:||5||Only three images, and I hated the one that's left aligned. The other two are barely acceptable, but... where's the parody?|
|Miscellaneous:||4.3||avg of all your other scores.|
|Final Score:||21.6||*Lots of randomness, get rid of it. The test for randomness is: "when I look at the title, can I somehow get this sentence out of it?"
|Reviewer:||• <-> 14:12, 5 November 2007 (UTC)|