Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Class of 3000

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edit Class of 3000

This is my second time putting this article through Pee Review. Basically, what I'm looking for is advice. I feel it does need improvement, but I'm not exactly sure where to start.

Before you read, I want you to keep these things in mind that I cannot stress enough:

  • It is not "cruft". To be honest, I made this article to make fun of the show. But then, I don't know what the proper definition of cruft is, so whatever.
  • Don't be harsh. Be fair about it. You're not aiming to destroy a person's work, just help them with it. But you should know this already.
  • I am aware that it's not funny, if not half-funny. Like I said, I wrote this one up on a whim and because I hate the show (and to make fun of it).
  • Advice. Again. I'd really appreciate it. After all, I want to help this article get better.

Thank you much for your attention and time in advance, and I look forward to working with you on aiding it. -- Hanyouman 13:11, 5 November 2007 (UTC)

Hi Hanyouman. It takes a lot of guts to come with your baby to pee review. Thank you for trying. Okay, let's get started --  Le Cejak <-> 13:55, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
Humour: 3.3 Take a look at an article I did, Kim Possible that's about a show nobody watches that did OK on pee review. Avg of all the following:
  • Intro (4)

You're lucky I've seen the show and kinda know what you're talking about. However, I lowered the score because 99% of the people here won't get it. I also lowered your score due to randomness ("Laffy Taffy joke writer"? "black/peanut butter uprising of 2012"?)

  • 1 Plot (6)

More randomness? Jesus! ("Soggy Barges is a man who likes flan"?? "or "hop-hip" as he somehow calls it"??) Also, the formatting is getting in the way of the jokes. "So he says" is not unfunny, it's a terrible way to start a sentence. Please get rid of all the "so"'s.

  • 2 Characters (4)

Ugh, it's an ungodly list! It's not that bad a list (compared with the songs section), but still: you don't have to mention every single character. In fact: DON'T mention every single character. This, too, has random crap in it.

  • 3 Songs (1)

This is a simply a list. Get rid of it.

  • 4 Episodes (4)

You are obviously parodying each episode in a list. I want you to link the title of each of those episodes to whatever the real name is on Wikipedia using this: [[Wikipedia:blah|blah]]

  • 5 See Also (1)

You don't need this. Also, I took points off because there's no real ending to this article.

Concept: 4 Concepts based around TV shows are very, very tricky. It's almost a gaurantee that nobody watches whatever TV show you think about writing about, unless it's something really popular.
Prose and formatting: 5 Lots of weird sentences and hanging paragraphs. Try to smoosh as many paragraphs in to a section as you can.
Images: 5 Only three images, and I hated the one that's left aligned. The other two are barely acceptable, but... where's the parody?
Miscellaneous: 4.3 avg of all your other scores.
Final Score: 21.6 *Lots of randomness, get rid of it. The test for randomness is: "when I look at the title, can I somehow get this sentence out of it?"
  • There's no "ending" to this article. How would I end it? Hmmmm... see my next bullet
  • Really, take a look at Kim Possible. Look at those extra sections called "actors" and "awards". I use this article whenever someone sits down and writes an article about a show that people don't really watch. Those extra sections should give you a clue about how to structure this article.
  • Get rid of every "so" you see and restructure the sentences.
  • Get rid of nearly every list you have. I believe I told you which ones are terrible. Put lists together as paragraphs, or try to.

I hope I helped, man!

Reviewer:   Le Cejak <-> 14:12, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
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