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This article is about Charmander.
At long last, I feel up to getting into this review. Owing to an event within my family that I would really rather not talk about, I was somewhat down for a while. I am back, and will have this review finished by this afternoon. --Warm Regards, ▀ĴαVắśСąР▀16:18 June 23 2008
It is taking really long for this article to be reviewed by Javascap. If anyone else wants... -Wi Account ki 20:18, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
Wi Account ki 23:12, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
It took me much longer to do than I would have preferred for it to have taken owing to an event within my family that I would rather not discuss. I wrote this in about thirty minutes, so please, forgive the (only somewhat) reduced quality.
|Humour:||6||:Information Box – 9
I will say this unflinchingly, with utmost faith, that this is by far the best part of the entire article. The jokes, although, admissibly, somewhat expected. The additions I most admired, and included under concept, were those of what Charmander evolved from, and what generation he is from. The ones I would recommend editing include “Evolves to” (Which you can’t really edit to make funny), “Species” (which, again, can’t be edited for humour) and height (and I can’t think of how to make THAT humouous!)
Hmm, a few gems in there, I did like the jokes about how his name was formed (and how horrifically irrelevant it seemed, which made it all the funnier!) and I did like the self-reference when you referred to how Charmander only speaks using “repeating annoying noises”, well laid out, but nothing outstanding, nothing that I will tell to my friends (yes, I do have some!) tomorrow. What I think you could put in here is something about how Charmander was created (not the “when a mommy Charizard and a daddy Charizard love each other verrrrrrry much” creation!) but an expansion on the primordial soup mentioned earlier in the article.
This section desperately needs a small dose of HTBFANJS, the advice I would most thoroughly recommend is that “The truth is funnier than fiction”. You are, in this section, making a multitude of outrageous claims regarding Charmander, (particularly regarding the “In Real Life” subsection, please, scratch!). The rendition of how “Ash Ketchup” was introduced to Charmander could be expanded, explain, for instance HOW did evolution drive Charmander and Ash apart?
Hmm, well, it’s not BAD, but at the same time, it’s not exactly GOOD. As you already know, Pokemon was aimed at children, so it makes no sense when you say that, according to children, “Pokemon sucks”. Back up what you say with facts, to make it seem more realistic, and therefore, funnier.
|Concept:||8||There are an awful lot of articles on Pokemon out here in Uncyclopedia, so I can hardly say that a particular article on Charmander is wholly unique, but you did throw in some unique concepts regarding Charmander that I did not expect (most particular, Charmander being part of the “Stolen Generation” was an addition I was pleasantly surprised to see, and the addition of him evolving from a “Primordial Soup” shows that you researched a bit before writing this particular article. The various treats placed in elsewhere regarding, for example, the origin of Charmander’s name was also a treat to read. I believe an 8 sufficed in this section owing to a compromise between the mound of Pokemon articles, and the outstanding originality displayed in this article.|
|Prose and formatting:||9||No major spelling errors, and no major mishaps in grammar. I would recommend turning “Ash Ketchup” into a conventional Ash Ketchum, but having the Ketchum link to ketchup (you already know how to, I noticed), and scrubbing this article to make the tone flow better.|
|Images:||8||Minus the template (which turns off just about every reader) the rest of the images were not bad at all.
|Miscellaneous:||7.7||Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines.|
|Final Score:||38.7||People may have a problem with attempting to integrate Pokemon into the real world, so I do have my doubts this particular article has a strong chance of becoming featured. This article could use a light work over
You have a nice article going. I strongly apologize for how long it took me to review this. Have a great day!
|Reviewer:||Warm Regards, ▀ĴαVắśСąР▀18:12 July 4 2008|