Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Charles Sumner

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edit Charles Sumner

Thank you for considering a review of this article. Here is this article's comic angle: The author is a horrible, insane asshole. Charles Sumner is a completely innocent historical target and throughout the article is slandered and abused for no apparent reason. It's not that the author is racist or even disagrees with Charles Sumner's historical positions: he just HATES him. If you understand why this is funny, I need your feedback. I'll be your best friend. Reviews will be reciprocated.

YouFang 19:18, 13 May 2008 (UTC)

Charles Sumner
is being reviewed by
CajekHi!
Your Source for Fine Scented Pee
And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him

Cajek... is afoot!   Le Cejak <May 14, 2008 [0:29]>

Humour: 7.7 avg of each sexshun...
  • Intro -8- Ah yes, this reminds me of my article otters. In fact, the concept is almost identical, except this guy hates him for no reason (as you said). It made me grin. No errors, cheeky little intro here. Good job!
  • Gay Early Life -6- It's too short, and it has sex jokes. Hard to know what to say here except that sex jokes are old unless they go way way way over the top (that article was by The UnIdiot). If you can't expand this section get rid of it, you don't need it. Maybe something on his early life, but if you can't do more than two or three sentences you might as well forget it.
  • Antibellum Bullshit -8- Interesting! Well written in the 19th century style, and that thing about 19th century clothes was pretty good, actually!
  • A really awesome story -7- It was a fine section, with the beatings and so forth. I'm starting to be curious as to why this guy hates Charles Sumner so much... it's kinda bothering me...
  • The rest of his pathetic life -9- Sadly, I thought this section was pretty funny. This guy actually had an interesting life, if what I am reading is to be believed. Seriously, read otters and steal some concepts from it.
  • Memorable Quotes -8- "blah blah blah pliny the elder blah blah blah i'm better than you." It is a quote section, and I know for a fact that people hate that kind of stuff, but you pulled it off here. Three quotes is just enough, especially that last one.
  • Exhumation and Conflagration -8- Wow, that was odd. I like odd things. They make me giggle.
Concept: 8 Easy to score, but hard to say. I enjoy articles that hate what they're about. However, we never figure out why he hates Charles so much. Why is he even writing an article on him? Oh well, it's not that important really, it's just that it would help the article in some ways. Add some more stuff about why this guy hates him or, EVEN BETTER, just hint at it. Like, the great-grandson of Sumner stole your girl or something. Maybe the whole Sumner family is full of douchebags. You can think of stuff. One thing I noticed is the extreme hate toward gay people... I'm not really offended but you've got a lot of homophobia in there.
Prose and formatting: 7 Well, as much as I like cussing, it got kinda out of control. Cussing has to be done when people least expect it, but it's okay. In the back of my mind, I think it may be holding your article back.
Images: 8 Pictures are fine, but you got some really bombastic captions... I don't know why, but that kinda turned me off.
Miscellaneous: 7.7 {{Pee|7.7|8|7|8}}
Final Score: 38.4 Good article, there. I didn't really LOL or anything, but you have a very, very promising start. I felt like the article could've been longer, which is a common comment on UN:PR. Add some more content, either about Sumner or the writer, and you can call it a day. Maybe even nom it for VFH later. Good job!
Reviewer:   Le Cejak <May 14, 2008 [0:57]>
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