Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Carrot

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Carrot 2

It's a carrot. What more can I say? Review plz? 70.90.49.254 17:03, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

UUtea A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter UU Manhole
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).

OK, here goes. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:05, Mar 18

OK< advance warning: this won't be pretty, but it's not meant in a nasty way, it's an honest appraisal of the article as it stands. Have a think about the comments please, and don't take it personally!

Humour: 3 OK, your problem here is random. There's far too much of it, and it just doesn't go down well around here. Yes, we have a load of random articles on the site, but we're trying to either delete or improve them. We're aiming for more consistent pieces, in keeping with the principles laid down here. Things like ludicrously massive numbers, celebrity name dropping for no reason, nonsensical statements with no explanation or relation to the rest of the article, bizarre tangents (such as the Easter Bunny bit, the Bugs Bunny bit, and suddenly crowbarring in Iraq, for instance) and the like tend to lead to articles getting deleted around here. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. I did kind of like the bit about carrots ruling the humans until we turned on them and cooked them, driving them underground, which is where your points come from here.
Concept: 2 Your problem here stems from a concept, or more specifically, the fact that you lack a coherent, central idea to hang your jokes from. We're not averse to surreal articles and ideas here, but even the surreal has to have a certain element of lucidity to it in order to work, and a jumble of barely-related ideas is not ideal. So you need to think of your central idea and keep to it. For instance, in here you mention carrots are utterly deadly to all life, then mention later carrots being eaten - that's not consistent. If a carrot is so deadly, how would Bugs be able to eat 42 before imploding? Honestly, you need to refine your ideas here: are carrots some kind of intelligent creature, as you seem to imply in places, or are they just veg? Come up with a good central concept and a good article becomes so much easier to write.
Prose and formatting: 4 Two sections, both fairly random, neither easy to read or follow. The formatting is basic but OK, and there are a few links in. Not brilliant.
Images: 3 One image, not captioned, quite small, but at least it's sort of relevant I suppose. An article of this length needs at least 2 images, and it helps if they add something to the article, either by being well captioned or illustrating a point made in the main text. Once you have your concept in place, you should find ideas for images easier to come by as well.
Miscellaneous: 3 Averaged.
Final Score: 15 OK, that's not a great score, but that does reflect the honest fact that this is fairly close to VFD territory at the moment. I like to make suggestions to improve an article based on what's already there, but here I'd suggest a major re-think is in order. A good look at HTBFANJS might help (don't be put off by the name, we're not implying you're stupid, it's a collection of useful comedy writing tips). And a look at a few featured articles might help as well, either in giving you ideas or showing you what we're aiming for here.

I hope this helps, but do remember it is only my opinion, others are available. And good luck!

Reviewer: --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:47, Mar 18
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