Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cardiff-Not-English FC

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edit Cardiff-Not-English FC

90.193.58.111 07:25, 10 May 2008 (UTC)

UUtea A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter UU Manhole
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).
--SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:22, May 11
Humour: 2 Ohh dear, this isn't going to go that well. Sorry, but this isn't going to be an enjoyable process, so take yourself a cup of strong tea and I'll begin.

There really isn't much here, is there? There's a list, a couple of lines, then a second, really short list. And what is there is not much more than a couple of generic insults. There are a few things you need to do here:

  1. Add more content. This one is really simple, an article with just a few very short lines like this stands a great chance of being deleted, so add more - a couple of paragraphs per section or thereabouts
  2. Make that extra content funny. Ah, this one is much harder. Anyone can add more content, but making it funny is a lot harder. Have a good read of HTBFANJS, which is a collection of useful comedy writing tips, and then look at point 3
  3. Don't just make it a bunch of insults - insults are rarely that funny, and if they are, it's normally to a minority
  4. Don't add glaring and pointless untruths for no reason - that's called being random, and it's not funny. Case in point here: "Roman Abramovich - payed £ 5 billion to join the team" - no he didn't, he has nothing to do with Cardiff, so what's funny about that? How does it fit with the rest of the article?
  5. Use lists sparingly, if at all - see UN:LIST for more on why lists aren't popular around here
  6. Do try to come up with a central concept - which brings me nicely on to the content section
Concept: 2 You don't have one, do you? OK, so Cardiff play in the English league despite being Welsh - that's not exactly enough of a concept to sustain a full blown article. Maybe one section of an article, if spun out.

Thing is, concept is key when it comes to humour writing. Start with a single joke and try to make an article out of it: very difficult. Start with a good idea, an article can almost write itself, and jokes will present themselves. Have a look at some of our featured articles - in a lot of them, you can see that someone has clearly thought about the article as a whole first - they've come in with a fair idea of the direction the article is going to take, and that's allowed them to get creative later. So I'd have another think about this. Do you really, desperately want to write an article ridiculing Cardiff City for not being an English Football club? If so, how can you get a full article out of this concept? What additional concepts can you add to your comedy stew to add more funny flavours to it?

Prose and formatting: 2 Well, there's not much of it, is there? I know I'm sounding like a stuck record here, but you need to add more to it. Oh, and while we're at it, it's "derelict", not "derilict", "paid" not "payed", and you use a colon like this : before a list, not a semi-colon like this ; - hope that helps.
Images: 0 None.
Miscellaneous: 1.5 Averaged
Final Score: 7.5 Look, we get a lot of football articles, and very few of them ever amount to much. The problem is that football fans rarely want to write anything other than insults and hate about other clubs, and ridiculous boasts about their own. I avoid football articles like the plague for this very reason (even the one about my own club, which is a really sucky article). If you genuinely want to write a funny article that will fit in well on Uncyc, you'll take the advice in this review and the pages I've linked to, and hopefully spend some time adding decent content to the page. If you just want to take the piss out of football clubs you don't like, may I suggest the 606 boards or something?

However, do remember that this is only my opinion, others are available if you want, and good luck!

Reviewer: --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:59, May 11
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