Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Captain Price

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edit Captain Price

An article about the famous Modern Warfare character. It's not exactly finished, as I got a bit tweaking to do, but I would like to have someone's opinion before I finish up. Indepth Please! Thanks! Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 02:56, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

article on VFH. If it suceeds, this won't be needed anymore. If it doesn't, then Pee away.--Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 00:26, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Hi, I noted that you said you would review my article on The Sound of Music so I thought I would return the favour. I have never reviewed or been reviewed before so I am sorry if this review isn't up to standard being my "cherry" review, so you can take my comments with a pinch of salt and if you want to comment on my review, please do. I will accept feedback on my feedback no problem. SaintJayJay Icons-flag-gb 20:32, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Humour: 9 I am a bit of a fan of the CoD series and I enjoyed reading this article. The humour was subtle and I think it would be easy to fall in to a trap of being too over-the-top for such a kick-ass here, e.g. turning the thing into a lot of Chuck Norris jokes with Cpt. Price’s name pasted in instead. But you avoided that can of worms so well done. I liked some of the imaginations of what he gets up to in between missions, like hitting the bar with girls after escaping the ship in Modern Warfare.

I’m not sure how funny someone with know knowledge of CoD would find this but that’s moot as humour is subjective and there are plenty of articles where I haven’t got the joke because I don’t know the subject matter. So anyhow, I thought the humour works well.

Concept: 8 The concept was simple but solid and in my opinion was well executed. It is consistent and it follows a straight path and is pretty faithful to the ‘real’ version Something I would question though is the necessity of the level of detail in some of the descriptions of the game stages, it could be in danger of being a straight review of the game series and I believe it wouldn’t be any less funny if some of the bits in between jokes were a little more concise.
Prose and formatting: 8 The prose was fine, the spelling, punctuation and grammar all worked well and along with the voice made the article feel authentic. I would suggest some revision of Early Life as it is, without any offence intended a little American when Price is very English. For example, in England, we don’t really have presidents of student councils, we have Head Boys and I can see Price as one of those. We don’t have Jocks but unsure of comparison to suggest, possibly members of the rugby team. But that’s all a pretty small thing. One picky thing, again sorry it is a British thing but he says “Bollocks”, not “Bullocks,” it just means “Balls”. Wanker is correct, I suppose the equivalent would be a “jerk-off”. The only point would be the “conclusion” paragraph tat I think could be fleshed out a little bit more.
Images: 6 The game screenshot images were all clearly relevant, but I think the comments could be developed a bit more as they seem to just describe what is in them rather than making a joke, for example in the picture of Price in the helo, I may have given the advice to the reader to avoid getting on any aircraft with Price as it is not likely to end well. I liked the picture of Price as a baby and it works well
Miscellaneous: 7.75 My average score
Final Score: 38.75 Overall I really did like the article and enjoyed reviewing it as my first Pee Review. I do not think it requires much work at all other than a few tweaks here and there, mainly with captions for the images.
Reviewer: SaintJayJay Icons-flag-gb 20:32, February 18, 2011 (UTC)
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