Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Canoepolio

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Canoepolio

Canoepolio 16:58, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

This one's mine. MINE! Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:12, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 3 This article is more aimed toward the niche audience of experienced kayakers. As I am not part of that niche audience, I do not share in the delighted rage that this article is evidently meant to invoke. Also, this page appears to be pure hate-cruft, which happens to be something generally frowned upon on this site. Instead of focusing on attacking the kayakers, you should focus on making jokes. This is Uncyclopedia after all. Because this is an article about a "disease", a good way to go about this is to make it like it's an article on an actual affliction. I notice that you've already done so to a limited amount, but to make it like a diagnosis it needs to be much more impartial. Also, much of this article would benefit greatly from the use of subtlety rather than the all-out attack that the article is.
Concept: 2 Can't say that this is a very good concept. Really, it's because it's not. While polio generally makes people's lives miserable/kills, this article insinuates that Canoepolio results in mental retardation. Remember, humor is best when it's based in fact.
Prose and formatting: 9 I'm actually impressed by this. You have almost-perfect grammar in here and your vocabulary is certainly well-utilized in this. Actually, it's one of the best-written articles that I've ever reviewed. Kudos.
Images: 8 All images are pertinent to the article, and each has a caption. The picture of the "frowning" kayak is rather blocky, however, and I recommend that you upload the images and format them the same way that you did the Polioboat image.
Miscellaneous: 2 To fix the score, as I always do. You appear to have the talent to turn this into a good article, but the article as it is now certainly doesn't show any sort of effort being put into it.
Final Score: 24 This article has a long way to go before it could be considered "good", and even farther before it can hope to be featured, but from what I've seen you certainly appear to have the writing talent to make it so. If you put some effort into actually making this more than just a rant against amateur kayakers, I believe you could certainly turn it into a funny article that would be able to survive VFH to be featured. You've already taken the first step by submitting it to Pee Review to see other's thoughts on it, now the decision is up to you on whether or not you'll do anything about them.
Reviewer: Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 21:11, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
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