Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cameras

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edit Cameras

Nannerpus 14:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)



Humour: 5 Honestly, it seems kind of random most of the time. An example of this is cameras being invented in 1300 B.C. What is the significance of that date? I did, however, get a few chuckles, so it's off to a good start, you just need to build it up some more. Make some new jokes around cliches associated with cameras, such as "the camera adds 20 pounds", or something like that. Maybe say that the loss of self-esteem causes overeating, which adds 20 pounds. Don't beat your jokes to death; once the article gets to "Camera Abuse", it and gets kind of stale. That section is also where most of the bad randomness is located.
Concept: 8 I like where you're going with it. Just expand more on the ideas you have, and you could end up with a good article.
Prose and formatting: 7 You have a few spelling errors. For example, you spelled "their" as "thier" twice. If you don't use Firefox, you should cut and paste into Word before saving your entries.
Images: 0 There are no images. Your article needs pictures, or small children will not be able to enjoy it.
Miscellaneous: 6 Your article needs to be vastly expanded--I can read the whole thing without scrolling at all. See the humor section for my suggestions on some material. I'm being a bit merciful since your page is a work in progress, but you should seriously consider adding the {{Construction}} tag for clarity (You know, since it has been marked with the "Needs more work" tag.)
Final Score: 26 You have a good foundation, but not much else. I have a few ideas for how you can expand each section. For the introductory section, you said that cameras were removed from the battlefield. Maybe you can come up with some specific atrocities committed with cameras, or add a "history" section for that. For operation, maybe you can cover more features, or make some up. The addition of cameras to the DSi could make an interesting tie-in. Work on the article some more, and I will revise my review accordingly. I look forward to seeing what you do with it.
Reviewer: --Aethix 02:42, 7 March 2009 (UTC)


Oh, wow, screw that review I just wrote, YOUR ARTICLE HAS ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN!
You may want to scrap it.
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