Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cactus

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edit Cactus

so i wrote this a while ago, but ran out of steam. i'm looking to finish it up now, but i need some input on how it stands now, and any ideas for further expansion, as well as ideas for images. thanks. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:34, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Pretty funny, and I like the concept, but it could certainly be more funny. Basically, you should expand on the jokes you've already established. The "plural joke" works well, but should be utilized a couple more times. The bit about cactusseseses changing desert to fertile forest is pretty funny, but it's scattered all over the article, concentrate it in one section.

You've also got the potential to add a lot. You can mention how cactiiii are natural enemies to Wile E. Coyote, and how they make great "pets," and how they're the state plant of Arizona, and how they compete viciously for desert living space with tumbleweeds, and any number of other funny ridiculous things.

Concept: 7 I like the concept, just expand on the jokes about cactux
Prose and formatting: 5 Good, but not spectacular as far as writing is concerned.

I take issue, however, with the way you've organized the article. The final section is too long, and you mention similar things in more than one section, which is just poor formating. If I were you, I'd have one section on "discription," one on "natural habitat," one on "natural enemies," etc.

Images: 3 You've got one picture. C'mon, man. Get at least another (semi-)serious picture of one, and then one more fanciful one. You could also establish a running joke where you interate the "plural joke" again and again in your images. That would be pretty funny.
Miscellaneous: 5 Average-ish.
Final Score: 26 It's got some potential, but needs a good deal of improvement.
Reviewer: Guildensternenstein 16:43, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
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