Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Buddhism

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edit Buddhism

Re-written this, thanks for taking the time out to have a look— Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:49, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 7 I probably shouldn't be doing this Review, as I know very little about Buddhism (itself a giant philosophy with many conflicting schools, like the one that avoids everything and the one that wallows in it. I don't think that Buddhists know about Buddhism. Yeah, I'm deep). Avoidance of suffering/attachment, nirvana, the illusion of self seem like the high points. I only see slivers of that on the page. Of course, I'm not wearing my glasses. I'm a rebel. This Review isn't helpful at all, is it?

The "monkey" bit doesn't work. Monkey rape humour is tough to pull off. The Dalai Lama bit is a smidge better, but everybody knows that he got the job because he picked the original Lama's nametag from an assortment of objects.

Concept: 6 For a page on Buddhism, it needs to be more Buddhisty. As I mentioned above, it doesn't seem to really hit the high points of the subject matter (try reading Wikipedia's page on it. If you accidentally achieve true enlightenment while doing so, say "Hi" to the universe for me).
Prose and formatting: 7 Spelling! "decedent" is not a real word. Get Firefox. "The first recordings of the movement..." should be more like "The first records of the movement...". Commas are your friend, as well: "The King as was customary for rich Indians sent his children to the finest education Eton College and Oxford University could offer" needs two of them. It may help to read the page out loud. Yes, I know that it will feel silly, but wherever you pause (except when taking a breath) is where a comma goes. Like so: "The King <pause> as was customary for rich Indians <pause> sent his children to the finest education Eton College and Oxford University could offer". There are a bunch of other places that could use a comma. Also, "This made The young Gautama stand out" has one too many capital letters.

It's all minor stuff, but the polish is what makes it shiny. Everybody likes shiny.

Images: 6 No LOLs, but the captions match the pics pretty well.
Miscellaneous: 6.5 This is the average, I hope.
Final Score: 32.5 Good start, needs more Buddhism, like the "Other teachings include the support "non-action" and an eightfold scheme..." bit. Now that's Buddhtastic (although "Other teachings include the support of "non-action" and an eightfold scheme..." is better. Grammar is a bitch). Did I help you at all?
Reviewer: Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:26, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
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