Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Bubblegum pop
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Bitchass441 05:48, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
Lotta nerve you got removing my template...08:51, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
|Humour:||2||Yikes, alright, well I think you may have rushed into this whole article writing thing a bit too soon. Before I even begin to explain the problems with this, I strongly encourage you to read HTBFANJS first and foremost. Next, you should read a few Featured Articles to get an idea of what people consider "good" on this site. These two will REALLY give you an idea of what we are really looking for on this site.
Although I do admit, much of this site is written in this random, stupid style, we are working on getting rid of it. This will probably be quickly deleted due to its writing style. Again, this article is really beyond a chance of redemption, and I strongly encourage you read what I recommended before you write another article.
Now for what was wrong. Although the entire thing was very sloppy (and not in a good way) parts where the humor was non-existant for it was obviously meant to be present, are what follows. Whenever you say if you like this you are a...then a stream of insulting cuss words, you really are just destroying your article. Only in REALLY rare occasions is this acceptable, and for this one, it definitely isn't. Also, you use too many injokes that really don't work...and just seem to be there for the sake of being there. Which really is pointless.
|Concept:||3||Alright, the concept wasn't THAT bad. But the direction taken just led it to destruction. If you don't know what I mean by direction I will explain it:
Say you want to write a article on the sport of Cross Country. Are you going to take the stance of a football player who thinks that it isn't even a sport but a gathering for a bunch of skinny nerds? Or are you going to take the stance of a sarcastic peer who is making fun of Cross Country through sarcasm? Or are you going to take the stance of a Cross Country player who is crazy about his sport and take it to the extreme and make it therefore funny in that way? When you get a topic, you really need to take the time to figure out your direction before you actually start writing. A solid concept is where golden articles stem from.
The direction you took was this is stupid and anyone who likes it is a dweeb. Well, this concept is really weak and your prose doesn't help you problem at all. In fact, there were many problems with the prose as well.
|Prose and formatting:||2||I will be brief here. These are a few things you MUST change if you want your article to be even somewhat presentable:
First, put your article through a spellcheck. When I was reading this, I found MANY errors that could be easily found and fixed.
Second, get rid of the blank spaces. I know you may think it is funny in some parts but it really isn't and it really makes your article horribly ugly.
Third, get rid of the 99999999999999s extending out of the page.
Fourth, put the picture of Hannah Montana to the side, and not in the middle of your text.
Fifth, do not cap so much. There are other more effective and less annoying ways to express emotion. Such as italics and bolds, which looks much more professional. Don't overuse any form of emphasis though.
|Images:||1||Well this is about as close to no picture as I think possible. The picture of Hannah Montana is alright, not hilarious, but not COMPLETELY random. You need to thumb it though, put it on a side, and make a caption for it to look more professional. Also, most good articles have about 3 or 4 images. Add a few more to easily bump up this score.|
|Final Score:||10||Honestly, just read a bit on what we are expecting here before trying to write something. This was very random and messy and would be considered "crap" here...no offense. It most likely will be deleted if not fixed up. I would suggest dropping this whole subject though as it is ruined and just start anew! If you have any question feel free to ask on my talk page. Good luck!|
|Reviewer:||08:45, 15 February 2009 (UTC)|
Thanks sooooooooooooo much. I would have called this a humor masterpiece when i was 8, but those days are now long gone. I now notice this article is crap. i am drunk.