Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Brian Vickers
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Humour:||2||There's not much funny in this, dude. There's plenty of stereotypes, but that's not the same thing.|
|Concept:||3||Another NASCAR article. There doesn't seem to be a concept to this beyond "call him a redneck/cracker/ricer/whatever".|
|Prose and formatting:||5||Formatting is fine, no red links. But not hugely readable. Spelling is OK, but sentence construction might need some attention.|
|Images:||4||A couple of images, and at least they have some relevance. But neither of them are particularly good.|
|Miscellaneous:||4||I hate this box.|
|Final Score:||18||Right, this is not great, but don't despair - there are plenty of articles that started out bad and blossomed. You need to figure out if you really want to write a good Uncyclopedia article, or just write some NASCAR fanboy stuff. If the former, read the comments below. If the latter, find a NASCAR forum.|
|Reviewer:||--Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 11:56, 29 October 2007 (UTC)|
A couple of comments, somewhat edited from the first version, as I realized they were a tad harsh and a bit crap:
Read HTBFANJS. It's not prescriptive, but it does give you a good idea of how to create funny articles.
Also, try to write for everyone, not just NASCAR fans - a lot of the stuff in this article is limited to those not in the know. You don't have to remove any of it necessarily, just explain it in a way that outsiders can understand.
Inserting vaguely offensive stereotypes is rarely funny, unless it's ironic or intended to satirize in some way.
And random stuff isn't funny - how would a redneck and Lindsay Lohan produce a half-Chinese baby?
Don't take this personally - I'm trying to help. I'm sure you've seen the stuff that does badly on VFD, so try to take this away from that territory. However, at least there aren't any lists, and generally speaking it can be tidied up quite easily.
There are always ways to write about sports - you can focus on their competitive streak, and their need to be the best at everything they do. Or maybe if he did start out well, then hit a lean spell, maybe he was planning his career along the lines of a feel-good sports movie, eventually aiming to wind up with a successful comeback, and then sell the movie rights for a fortune? That could be a fun angle. Basically, find a decent angle for the article, and write more consistently. Try to be a little more original - accusing a NASCAR driver of being a redneck/cracker/whatever is hardly new, unless you can find an interesting spin to put on it.
Basically, try to lift this up with a coherent central concept and some good writing. If you want some specific suggestions, give me a yell on my talk page, and I'll try to give a few constructive ideas.
I am a NASCAR fan, and they aren't crackers or rednecks, but my friend wrote it and gave it to me to be pee reviewed.