Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Brain Hemorrhage

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edit Brain Hemorrhage

Well, i made an article, not sure how funny/not funny it is. needs revyewing.~ NEZLR Dancingmilk Th stupidMewhenreadingstupidstuff Seizure Donuts 04:34, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

~ NEZLR Dancingmilk Th stupidMewhenreadingstupidstuff Seizure Donuts 04:34, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Humo(u)r: 6 This is I what I tend to call a "light reading". Sometimes people think, "Hey! I am kind of running out of idea here. Why not call in the Man Chuck Norris, Daytime Queen Oprah Winfrey and Lord of Fake Quotes Oscar Wilde and see how we'll go with the subject?" As you may have known, this sort of bad practices usually result in not much except another scrap piece of paper in the dust bin. Although it's good that you didn't try and bloat the article with useless filler materials, the article still left me feeling a bit empty inside nonetheless. It's like a quick fix of munchies with a pack of cheesy mac. Yeah, it tastes good, but it never quite hits the spot. I believe you could have done a better job than this.
Concept: 6 Well, it's what people call a "stroke", or if you happen to have had a beef with a bowling ball, "brain trauma". There isn't a lot to waffle about the subject matter, although you can always make up something witty about it. For example, think of what bugs you a lot or what makes your head "explode", so to say. Loud music, screaming children, crappy Uncyclopedia articles, complicated things like intracranial hemorrage, etc. Of course, you'll still have to elaborate a little on each of those things, but I reckon that's a good start. In fact, you were kind of getting there at the end, but it seemed to me that you just wasn't willing to move a step further, and that's a shame.
Prose and Formatting: 4 I think the general consensus here is that a good article requires good formatting. While the article is not utterly unreadable, it's nonetheless quite messy. I don't believe that that hay-ball banner really deserves that much celebrity attention when people can simply substitute it with a bit of whitespace or even just 3 periods. The orange template is just clogging up the precious space at the top and the black template at the bottom is just another example of visual pollution. Templates are good only when they are used at the exact, right moment and not to the extent that they take too much attention away from the readers. In both cases here, they are doing the article more harms than good. Quotes are usually needless things to be rid of, and all-caps are just bad for business in general. Try and readjust those links so people won't end up hitting a brick wall when they click them, and, if possible, try not to continue the article with the list format that you have got going there.
Images: 4 There aren't a lot of images in the article (or one to be exact) as far as I can see. Try and put something interesting but not too scary at the top-right corner; add more images to the article as you continue expanding it, and you will be fine.
Miscellaneous: N/A
Final Score: 25 A good start I would say, although there just wasn't enough material to be called "impressive". The formatting certainly needs fixing and images are simply too scarce to catch one's fancy.
Reviewer: JoeMonco 13:19, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
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