Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Black Manta
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Okay usually I don't place articles up on Pee Review that are about comic characters. This one however is different, I think that this article is good, but it didn't come out exactly how I envisioned it would. I had some good ideas but the way they came together just sorta led in a different direction. So take a look and tell me what you think, I won't get mad. PsychotypeD 22:39, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||8||I don't know why you say this might be bad. This is a strong article, and flowed nicely with a humorous tone throughout. I saw a bit of weakness within some jokes because of repeating and other minor things, which I will try to point out by section.
Intro:9 I especially liked your intro. It was strong and did a good job of telling the reader, "This is the direction I am going with this." It was short and sweet, and set the tone for the rest of the article
Origin:10 Probably the strongest seciton. There really isn't much to add here, this part is well done. It shows the greatest variety of humour.
Becoming the...uh...Manta:5 This section gets a bit old towards the end. It seems to just be a repeating of fish escaping while he builds a machine, which was funny the first time. Maybe you were looking for humour through repetition, and maybe some see it, I just didn't. It seemed to be too much filler. Cutting some parts out to make it more "readable" might help. I did like the part about the origin of his name with the "Black Man, duh."
Skills:8 This is another one of your better sections. It is shorter and funny throughout. It would be nice to see some expansion in the bit about the half ass fighting style.
Injustice League:7 Some of this didn't really seem to be relevant. Especially with the "blowing up the joker" bit. Everything else was strong though and it was funny to see how he was the "bitch" of the injustice league.
Later Years:10 Nice conclusion altogether. It was another shorter section and summed everything up. The killed by superman part is great too.
|Concept:||9||When I first saw this, I thought it was going to be very weak. Superhero/supervillian articles tend to be very packed with weak-one liners and tend to all be the same. The direction you took this was awesome and made the difference between a horrible article and an excellent one. I have read many of your things and you always have a good concept, and if not a good topic, you take it in the right direction, which saved this article.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||I don't like going through for prose, but just a few, in origins, you wrongly capitalized Sea Animals. In the same section the whale tag part is confusing, so rewording would be helpful. You say "the special tag the whale had to track him." This makes it seems like the whale has a tag he can somehow trace Black Manta. Finally, in the later years part, you should put quotes for what they say.|
|Images:||9||Great images. I didn't really get the snow globe one, but the other three were great. Especially the injustice league one,showing him in the back. They fit in well and help tell the story.|
|Final Score:||41||Overall it was excellent. You avoided elements which could overall destroy they typical superhero/supervillain article, and turned it into something even one with no knowledge of Black Manta could understand. Nice job!|
|Reviewer:||--Yodel monkey 01:09, 12 December 2008 (UTC)|