Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Bizitches

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edit Bizitches

Colin "All your base" Heaney 22:15, 22 February 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 3 I'm surprised I'm giving this article anything over a two for humor. Just be glad you're getting an American to review this, because I can bet you that you wouldn't have scored any points at all in the humour section. xD But anyways, back to the serious review. There were a couple of one liners here that I liked, but they were few and far between. Most of this article is pretty much some stupid dramatization of American pop culture. No one is really going to find this that funny at all. It seems like you're trying to take this in a satirical direction. I would advise that you make this article as serious as you can make it. Having jokes that basically go "And then this happened, and then Snoop killed 50,000 bitches, and then Lindsey Lohan had sex with a crab, and then..." make for a real bore of an article. Trust me, the only way you're going to save this article is by making it sound professional and subtle. Being subtle is often funnier than going to extremes, try reading some of Uncyclopedia's other featured articles and see some good examples of subtle humour.
Concept: 1 Ouch. This is a terrible idea for an article. Something like this just screams "vandalize me!" To be perfectly honest, it looks like it's already been heavily vandalized in it's current state. Not good. The direction you took this article in is a poor one. Hate to be so frank about it, but it's true. Like I said before, blunt, linear humor just isn't that funny.
Prose and formatting: 3 Believe it or not, you still have to be a good writer to make it here on Uncyclopedia. Your sentence structure is downright ghastly. I count several spelling errors. You cuss where unnecessary. Yes, you can cuss here, just only where it's funny. Just like how I wouldn't use this tone of voice when I'm mad, I wouldn't cuss when I'm trying to present an article to a reader. No one finds it funny, it makes you sound like a little kid. Unless, of course, that's the angle that you're trying to go for with this article, which I doubt it is.
Images: 2 There's only one image here, which isn't that funny. It just plays on the preexisting jokes which I've already dealt with, so you know why I don't find it at all funny. To improve your images, I would say replace that image with a couple better ones. An article of this length should have around two.
Miscellaneous: 2.3 Avg'd using {{Pee}}.
Final Score: 11.3 Gotta give it to you straight, bro. This is an eyesore which is teetering on the edge of VFD. I hope you take all of this advice in the spirit of improving the article. I think there may be a chance that, someday, this article could be presentable. But I can assure you that an article on "Biziches" will never be featured on this wiki.
Reviewer: ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 00:36 Feb 23)
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