Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Big Mama

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edit Big Mama

Humour: 2 There's the occasional glimmer in there, but loads of random, and frankly I gave up on the last bit.
Concept: 4 There's room on Uncyc for an article poking fun at the stereotypical Big Mama, but this isn't that article yet.
Prose and formatting: 3 Gonna have to go for a low one here. That last section, the novel, is a total mess that I gave up trying to follow. If you really want to keep it, consider making it an article in its own right, moving it to UnBooks, breaking up the massive paragraphs, giving it some structure and coherence, and basically re-working it for readability. The rest... Try adding in a few line breaks to improve readability, removing the random clutter, and generally aim for something more coherent.
Images: 5 There are some, they are sort of relevant to the content. But they're kinda 'meh', and the captions aren't great.
Miscellaneous: 4 Not much to say here.
Final Score: 18 Honestly, I think this needs a lot of work, and I'm tempted to slap a rewrite tag on it, after clearing out the novel bit myself, but I'll give it a while before I think seriously about it. Take out the random stuff (Jesus, Joheeta, Prison, the Farm, re-incarnation, that novel stuff - actually, that's quite a lot of it!) and try to pick a coherent direction and stick to it. I'd go with sending up the stereotype, having fun with the way Big Mamas are always portrayed (particularly by Martin Lawrence). If you want some suggestions, give me a shout on my talk page, and I'll see what I can do. But right now, I'm done. Other opinions are available if you don't agree with this one.
Reviewer: --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 12:34, 3 October 2007 (UTC)
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