Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Barney

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edit Barney

Me and a couple of other editors worked on this and had it removed from CVP. I just want to know what others think about it.

Kurgan's Back. Prepare to get pwned. (Unless you are Chuck Norris)Confederate Navy Jack 22:54, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 2 Before I even get started reviewing humour, I will say it seriously, you need to read This, and really read it. This article provided a decent sense of humour on the first few sentences, and rapidly went downhill from there. The countless, endless references to a cannibalistic, gay, evil, child molesting, holocaust-involved Barney was, frankly, expected, something that every person who reads an Uncyclopedia article ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT. The addition of his list of “Atrocities” seems shoddy and ill-conceived, the references to Gay jokes not believable at all, and the barrage of diseases presented in “appearance” was way overblown.

If you want to make an article funny, make it something the reader would not expect, keep it believable, and place in quality jokes. Sadly, this article was missing in all three of them.

Concept: 2 This article was placed on CVP because of the hoard of senseless humour added into it, and an article that is, more or less, exactly what it probably looked like after years of senseless attacks is hardly a unique concept, and I would hate to know how many people have already thought of making a Barney page. Every joke in this article has, more or less, been done before, and this article follows the standard format of… just being an article. NRV pretty much sums up the problems with this article, needing an insane amount of work to get it functional and unique.
Prose and formatting: 5 Inconsistencies and spelling errors abound in this article, proving a need for a heaping of help from the Proofreading Service. The inconsistencies include
  • Barney “hating” the competition of other gays, but having gay relationships
  • Barney being the Antichrist… and Satan
  • Barney “eating” kids, then excreting them as fully grown homosexuals (wouldn’t he then kill them?)
  • The sheer amount of diseases he has, which certainly would have caused a painful death by now (and quite a few of which are not communicable by skin contact)
Images: 5 I do daresay the first image kicked the article off with a nice dent, the look on Barney’s face did help set the tone for the rest of the article, setting a twist of irony into the career of what has become a well known and respected (throws up) children’s entertainer. The grin on Barney’s face did help out, and I liked the addition of the thought bubble, but the words in the thought bubble could use a bit of editing, the words do cramp together a bit in the bubble.

The anti-Christ picture was also well done, the face fitting rather perfectly into the pentagram, and the symbols around him (although I do not know much about Satanism) did seem formidable.

Barneys “other job” probably could be huffed out of this article, seeing as to how it has nothing to do with the nearby text, same going for the “This isn’t happy!” and the “the destroyer” picture.

The Satan Barney is where the joke of an Evil Barney really began to drag itself out (see humour), I know for a fact that from the article you presented that, yes, barney is evil, and yes, he is allied with (or is) Satan, can we please get a different joke in here?!

To which my prayers were answered, but not to the extent I hoped, instead, in came a Gay joke, depicting barney as homosexual, but strangely, it was not particularly funny, because, frankly, gay jokes are only funny with a well placed and thought out line, and there are far too many “Gay” hits on Uncyclopedia as is.

The Barney+Hitler picture is… again, too much of a drag on the same… old… overused joke.

And now for that video… please… for the love of Sophia, remove that one… please! Words escape me for how mangled it is.

Miscellaneous: 3.5 Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines
Final Score: 17.5 There is an awful lot of work to be done in this article, to such an extent that I am not going to list everything but the major problems. This article needs:
  1. A serious reread of This, This, and This or it may end up Here.
  2. A serious rewrite, removing the gay and anti-christ jokes, and giving something unexpected
  3. Fixing and removing the images, as outlined in that section
  4. Fixing the horde of inconsistencies and spelling errors (Try pasting the article into Microsoft Word to catch as many of them as you can)

Think long and hard about how you are going to fix this article, I do not mean to give this review as a personal attack, its just that the article is not well written, but EVERY article has a chance to be fixed, EVERY article has the potential to become featured, I even remember seeing a page escape VFD by one vote, and go on to be featured! I know that this article can be fixed, just give it your best shot, and go at it! Good luck!

Reviewer: Warm Regards, Javascap
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