Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Bad Robot Chicken Star Wars Yo Momma Jokes

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edit Bad Robot Chicken Star Wars Yo Momma Jokes

MeatLoafFan 21:59, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 5 As the title implied… they are bad Star Wars Yo Momma jokes. While they were all right for a chuckle, they did not serve as anything memorable, nor did they provide rib splitting laughs. After the success of Not So Awesome Land, I hoped I would not have to say this, but I think a dose of HTBFANJS would help out here, and making this text more… relevant.
Concept: 4 This article, from the title, did not leave any wiggle room for satire, and even as a light star wars fan, I will admit I was not too immensely impressed by the concept. Your jokes were only ok, and you wandered off topic from the “Yo Momma” jokes towards the end.
Prose and formatting: 4 Ho Hum. The grammar structure was ok, and your sentences were about average length, and there were a few spelling errors (Pregnant, not pregant) and quite a few grammar errors (“all odds and battled his was down” and “Starting from 3 2 different stories and merging into 1” are two examples). I think that you need a shot of help from the Proofreading Service to help whip your grammar up.

What you can do in the meantime is much easier. I would like to see more categories, that s the easiest way for articles to be found, second to links from other pages.

This article also is weighed down by the sheer irrelevance of the second part (Yo Momma jokes and the ‘08 campaign?) that it does not have much steam by the end.

Images: 0 I can not give ANY credit for images when there are not any images to grade. If you need an image, feel free to look in the homeless images, look at other articles, or even upload your own. I think that an image of the final clash might fit in here, assuming you can find a relevant one.
Miscellaneous: 3.5 Avg’d as per Pee Review requirements.
Final Score: 16.5 At the moment, this article is VFD quality, and if you do not snap to work, it could become that. You have quite a bit of work to do to bump this up. What I want to see:
  1. Read HTBFANJS
  2. Fix the problems with dates (The first one made in 700 BC? The first discovered in 9876 AD? A sequel made in 2008 AD?)
  3. This article could use a doseage of grammar assistance from the Proofreaders
  4. This page contains nothing but irrelevant and unneeded links, which, sadly, do not contribute to humour
  5. There need to be categories to get more people to this page
  6. Regardng the Climatic Battle, Obama has NOT YET won, neither has McCain, and definitely not Hillary. That said, that section is not relevant.
  7. Take a break to get some fresh ideas if you become stumped.
  8. Add an image, preferably a relevant one.

This article needs a lot of work to become Uncyclopedia quality, but I honestly believe you can. Good luck!

Reviewer: Warm Regards, Javascap
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