Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Bad Directions

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edit Bad Directions

Saleenmustang fuentfue Saleenmustang My Talk : My Awards 21:58, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 6 I love the idea, you tell it like a story and anyone who has even heard that accent on a movie or anywhere can identify it and enjoy the wording you used. The basic idea of recieving bad directions is all there and the introduction to it is smooth and kept me reading, i do however feel that the humour of the introduction could be worked on to make it as funny as the rest of the article, perhaps a different story line, maybe not something as boring and sweet as visiting grandma with all due respect. I also feel the ending trailed off into disappointment, spice it up maybe it could really use something better than bob suddenly waking up in a mental institution after being asked to the hillbilly's place? It lost its "Sense of direction" here lol, id suggest letting it flow into a powerful ending that will leave the reader feeling completely satisfied.
Concept: 9 The thing i love most about your article is the concept. Its difficrent yet it works and its fun. It makes sense in a crazy way and we can all relate to the patience bob must have to deal with the hillbillies. The accent is so easy to pick up, you did this particularly well and used perfect words to make the reader understand the accent.
Prose and formatting: 8 As far as i could tell your punctuation was overall good with the exception of 1 or 2 lil mishaps... perhaps just go over it one more time to make absolutely sure, i did spot 1 or 2 small things there.
Images: 3 I believe you can use way better pictures for this and the comment under the hillbilly picture does not really grab me as that funny, neither does the picture itself and they dont relate 100% to the article. think of something that is not so ordinary, maybe even just change the captions, they just dont seem funny enough. I think a picture should make a blatant outrageous statement and these seem too ordinary to do that.
Miscellaneous: 6.9 My overall score for your article
Final Score: 32.9 I would work on the introduction, conclusion and images, never be afraid of expanding it, an article can never be too long if its simply written cleaverly, but the concept rocks and it has already paved the way to a great article. I believe this can become a work of art with a bit more effort, because alot of it is already there, just needs that extra flavour. My thoughts on this and please dont take it personal in any way, either way i enjoyed it.
Reviewer: Acrolo 15:40, 19 May 2009
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