Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905

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edit Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905

This article has a lot of words in it. I need a reviewer who doesn't mind reading words to find the funny.

Seriously, find the funny. I think I lost it somewhere in there... --The Acceptable Thinking cap small Cainad Sacred Chao (Fnord) 08:02, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

I read every line of this, and to be totally honest, you did. Please see my comments - though I suggest you get a second opinion. This is the sort of thing where people will either find everything great or... well, not... and one user isn't a good sample group. -Tritefantastic 03:01, 10 August 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 1 I'm sorry - I can tell this took a really long time to write - but it's not at all funny. It's not offensive, or crude, or lowbrow. It's just totally devoid of what I look for in humor.
Concept: 1 See above.
Prose and formatting: 2 I honestly can't tell if you were trying to over-complicate the writing in order to emphasize the overall pointlessness of an epic sandwich (which I assume was the basic idea you were building around) or not. Either way, this article is obstructively dense: for instance the whole first paragraph about the cheese is basically the same idea restated several times. Also, your grammar is spotty: "but not so dense that the bacon and cheese would be lost in its granary depths," for instance. "Granary" isn't an adjective; it's a noun.
Images: 4 This is obviously custom-made for the article - kudos - but it's not very funny, and if people were going to cut up the best bread for the best sandwich ever, they wouldn't do it in a field; they'd do it in a lab with a specialist.
Miscellaneous: 3 I didn't really like the twist ending either.
Final Score: 11 Let me say again that I am but one man, and my suggestions are not a representative sample of the viewing audience. The humor here is so abstract that I suggest you get a few more opinions before you do anything either way.
Reviewer: Tritefantastic 03:01, 10 August 2007 (UTC)
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