Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Back to the Future
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Maniac1075 13:23, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
|I like to write a lot of things, I’m pretty good at Pee Reviews, and the only award I had even gotten was a Author of the Month Award. Also I like Avenged Sevenfold, Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, and brunettes and emo girls.|
|Concept:||7||the concept sounds pretty good here. You chose a concept and stuck with it the entire way. It’s hard to criticize the concept. However, this sounds like something that you can find in the HowTo series, so I recommend moving to that particular type of article, as well as renaming it HowTo: Get Back to the Future. This is up to you though, but I highly recommend it|
|Prose and Formatting:||5||After using the spell check system on Microsoft, I have discovered that you seem to have misspelled some words as well as a few grammar mistakes. You may have done so by accident, and that’s understandable, but you should check over an article by reading it to check for mistakes. You can use the spell checker on Microsoft Word or have someone from the proofreading service check the article for you. Red links are discourage constantly do to the fact they lead nowhere, so getting rid of the red links would be a very good deed to do.
After reading the article it appears that you made the entire section into a list of things to do. Even though there’s not really a problem with that, lists are discouraged by HTBFANJS, as they are regard by many to be very non-humorous. So in order to fix this up, you should combine some of the sections to make bigger and longer paragraphs, as long as they make plenty of sense with each other.
|Humo(u)r:||6||I did manage to catch on to some of the jokes here, and found them quite funny. Some, however, were more of a “meh” than a “lol”. The Temporal Displacement #2 section, for example, is too random and off topic from the subject. In other words, I didn’t find it funny or contributing to the article at all. I think you should stick with one Temporal Displacement section and get rid of the other, unless you got something else to replace the crappy information in that section
I’ve found some parts of this article to be really random than funny, such as Libyan Terrorists, Family Guy Bloodshed Copyright Piracy War, and things like that. I do not know why they have to do with anything about getting back to the future, so I rather you get rid of them and replace them with something else, but this is up to you. Also some of the sections seem to be short on information, and short information means short humor. Try to expand on what you’re saying and find more ways on how the reader can travel back to the future. You can also combine sections to make your paragraphs longer, as I mentioned earlier.
Finally, the Q and A sections seems a little too “meh” for me. I think you should make it into a paragragh instead, or at least make that section a little better. The last one, however, was funny.
|Images:||6||the images are fine and support your article well. But I think the article could use some more. The page kind of looks a little too white. Maybe showing the reader on how the time machine should look as well as put the look of the narrator so we can see who is talking.|
|Miscellaneous:||7||My overall grade of this article|
|Final Score:||31||Not bad. Could still use a little more work but otherwise good job. Just follow my advice and your article should be as funny as ever. If you have any questions/comments, just go to my talk page and I’ll be happy to answer them. Good Luck! Cheers!|
|Reviewer:||--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 01:10, March 23, 2010 (UTC)|
- Ah, it was the "To The" instead of a "to the" that did it. Damn wiki is so picky. I'll try moving this for you. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 03:55, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
ok, so ive added some pics, and rearranged a few things, gotten rid of temporal displacement 2, and just made it 1 section. I'm completely at a blank as what else to add to the article, i could make things up, but the idea was to use things back to the future related or future related, and nothing new springs to mind. The skynet thing is just a reference to the terminator movies idea of the future, the Libyan terrorists is a reference to BTTF where doc says he built the time machine when Libyan terrorists wanted him to build them a bomb and he stole their plutonium, which is what got him killed, and the Family Guy thing I was original going to use futurerama, but picked a cartoon more people would be familiar with BTTF references in the shows. --Maniac1075 04:35, March 23, 2010 (UTC)