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220.127.116.11 17:41, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||Note 1. “The Axerang was created by Fighter (not to be confused with Fighter or Barbarian) when he combined the two things he loved most: axes and boomerangs. Duh. The Axerang made its first debut in 1518 during The War Against the Aztecs or the Incas or Whatever where it supposedly killed so many people in one throw the rest of thems' heads asplode, yo.”. While a creation background section was appropriate and while the ending colloquial tone was very much appreciated, this passage did not elicit any smirks, smiles, or lols. The passage felt contrived in its randomness and upon writing this review was largely unmemorable. Regardless, there is great potential in having this section.
Note 2. Result of The War Against the Aztecs or the Incas or Whatever section. Elicited no smirks, smiles, or lols. Continuation of said unwelcome randomness.
Note 3. Other famous battles featuring the Axerang section. Very good idea. However, only “Countless LARPs” made the reader laugh. Topical.
Note 4. Where is the Axerang now? section. Ah, very good! Clever. This question and the following answer elicited a smile. One particularly enjoys the intimacy between the reader and the person/guide/the voice(?).
Note 5. But seriously, what happened to the Axerang after The War Against the Aztecs or the Incas or Whatever? & Caring for Your Axerang sections. Thoroughly unmemorable. Unwelcome and uninspired reiteration of randomness.
|Concept:||8||Really like the idea! Excellent concept. A field guide to axe throwing’s retrograde reciprocity.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||The prose was fine. However, the formatting needs work. Notably, there is no need for the second Axerang heading. Unless of course the heading anticipates some future development of a section underneath it.|
|Images:||6||Note 1. Axerang picture and accompanying inset. Great! One particularly enjoyed the speed, favorite foods, and tips notes. The favorite foods note especially is good because the note reinforces this undercurrent of an axerang as this whirling dervish of an insatiable and *shiver* thinking beast. Aarrrrgghh! Flesh!
Note 2. Second picture. Though relevant because of the axe, the picture is thoroughly irrelevant because of its captioning and the randomness from whence it drew.
|Final Score:||31.3||A fine concept with potential. Just needs more time invested into the article. Certain lines of the first half of the article coupled with the first picture and its accompanying inset certainly evidence a clever mind: maintain that effort throughout and try not to substitute cliché and uninspired silliness in lieu of good and thoughtful ideas. Do your best! Good luck and Godspeed.|
|Reviewer:||Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 20:41, 14 June 2008 (UTC)|