Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Awesome Man
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|Humour:||5||Its getting there..|
|Concept:||6||Superfluous, but could be something very funny.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||Better than a number of articles housed here, but needs upgrades.|
|Images:||4||Awesome Man is neither The Flash nor Major Victory. It only sorta makes sense.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||Because you're trying, and I think it could be very funny sometime soon.|
|Final Score:||29||See Endnotes.|
|Reviewer:||THINKER 22:04, 13 June 2007 (UTC)|
Alright, Senor Awesome, here are my critiques:
Quotes 1+2 = lose 'em. The third one is awesome.
Your sections need to be fleshed out farther. This article does contain a really interesting concept though; a contributor creating an article about one's self to try to make themselves look cooler than they actually are (evident in the intro's last sentences). I think if you continued under that idea, there would be great potential for funny. Do some work detailing your current sections, and maybe add a few other ones. A list of super powers is fine, but if there isn't sufficient material to balance, it just looks like a way to pad out a short piece. Unlike some editors, I enjoy a well crafted short article, but this one isn't there just yet.
I like the tie-in with Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, but you can't really throw that curveball as the article's conclusion. Either integrate it into the storyline or discard.
Over all, I think it needs to be tightened up and expanded. Perhaps adding detail will push the humor forward a bit. Keep at it!! :) --THINKER 22:04, 13 June 2007 (UTC)