Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Avant Garde Jazz (has returned)

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edit Avant Garde Jazz

Here it is again; bring me your best move! Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 01:19, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

Humour: 5 I'm sorry bout this, but I don't find this very funny, it's really random and lacks in the proper satarical humour that this site tries to highlight. I'll go thorugh it more in depth now:

Introduction - I'm mmediatly drawn to and alarmed by this line "WTF is that shit! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!!!! AAAUUGH!!!!!" now this just appears to be an underdeveloped way of trying to make fun of the subject you are writting about.Being random and stupid like that isn't funny. If you feel the need to make fun of something, do it through sarcasm towards it, its funnier and more creative. Plus it might also score you a feature!

History- Again this is full of random bits and peices which are not funny. Truth is often funnier than out right lies or plain nonsense. As many a review have stated, you will be funnier sticking closer to the truth and steering clear of made by lies and crude raging.

Symptoms from Listening to Avant-Garde Jazz - this section isn't rando, but I still sadly have to say it isn't funny. It replies heavily on crude sarcasm and a put extreme emphasis on crude, simply saying you don't like it through an article is a very poor writting style on Uncyclopedia. Tone down on the sarcasm and make it as thorugh your pointing fun it and not simply hating on it. There is a big difference.

From the Author of this Article - Kill it with fire, offering a personl opinion is a bad idea. Save that for the talk page if you must.

Concept: 7 You have a reasonablly good understanding of the subject matter, I'll give you that much. But a good understanding doesn't always mean good execution. Basically you've executed a good idea very poorly and your humour has suffered as a result. The only improvements I can offer towards your concept is to quit with the bashing of it and stick to sarcasm and satire, which is what the site is all about. Basically your concept doesn't need working from scratch, it just needs a polish up.
Prose and formatting: 6 You have formatted it to a reasonable extent, but the issue I have is your lack of interwiki links, which is the only guidance i can offer, links can sometimes provide humour if pullud off correctly, should be distributed evenly and SHOULD NOT be overdone. Blue looks pretty amongst the black, but inserting too much is ugly.

Your use of bold and italics is good and consistant through out the article, and you bold the important stuff, so well done in this aspect.

Images: 6 You basically havethe right number of images in your article, what the issue is your selection.

I'd say 75% of your images are well suited to your article and the rest are well somewhat miss placed. Try and use actual images from the genre of music not just random appropriated images that bear no real relivence.

Miscellaneous: 6 I call this a six out of ten article
Final Score: 30 Hope I've given some good feedback, try and fix it up in this method and a see a potential feature out of this one. Sorry I had to be so critial in some aspects, but this is what reviewing is all about.

Whilst you don't need to improve it much so see it stay permanently, it won't go anywhere unless you bring it right up to scratch!

Reviewer: ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au
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