Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ass-tards

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edit Ass-tard

Abab 16:12, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

edit Ass-Tard: An Introduction

The word ass-tard is thrown around a lot these days (most notably to describe stupid obese obnoxious ten year olds.) It has come to the attention of the OED (Oxford English Dicitonary) and has now finally been defined. "An ass-turd ,derived form the latin ass-turdus, ass-tardus, is someone who embodies the characteristics of an ass-hole, looks strikingly similar to a turd and has the mental capacity of a retard. This word has been in use since the days of Henry VIII, where Anne Boelyn catching that fat bastard cheating on her called Henry an "ass-tard of the third kind," subsequently being executed for this and proving in simple maths that Henry VIII was the son of Saton, (otherwise known as the red ass-tard from hell.) This word can be used effectively to describe Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, rednecks, white trash, Oxford University graduates (otherwise known as toffs) and of course Hannah Montana - the love child of Saddam Hussein and the devil. ----

edit Common Misunderstandings

The word ass-tard is often confused with the word ass-hole which is commonly used to describe a different calibre of person, people like George Dubya Bush, Barbara "the bushey" Bush Bush, George Bush senior and offcourse the mythical bush people of Kosovo. Even though ass-tards and ass-holes share common features ,including the fact that both types of people have asses for faces, and are usually full of shit; spouting shit like a volcano while they speak (I'm talking to you George Bush) they have subtle differences. Ass-tards usually spout a different variant of shit when they speak which is normally more fluid and creamy while ass-holes spout solidified hard shit while speaking. Just like retards, ass-tards cannot help being the way they are and in 1987 the ass-tard pride movement was able to raise awareness of the condition. The Movement's leader, Michael Jackson, was able to elevate the condition to official disability status and single handedly brought the condition to the world stage in his song "ABC it's harder than 123, I'm such an ass-tard that I can't sing Do Re Me."

edit Origins of the word Ass-tard

edit Review

  • First off, don't copy the article into the pee review, I did the review of your article Ass-tard as it appears in the mainspace version. I also corrected the link above.--Mnbvcxz 03:45, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
Concept: 2.5
Foamy

Foamy reminds you that ranting is not funny.

Vulgarity and vomiting forth insults at random celebrities is not a substitute for humor. However, on the plus side, your article does seem to sorta make sense. I reserve really low scores for articles that aren't even close to making sense.

An article can't be funny on random insults and vulgarity alone, it needs some humor. The best articles tend to be closest to the truth and parody/satirize the subject matter. Attack articles tend be among the least funny, and attacking random people makes it weaker. You might want to see HTBFANJS for hints on good article writing and Best of for good articles. After you read some more, you might get an idea for what is considered a good article on this wiki. Ranting and randomness get real old and boring real quick.
Prose and Formatting: 5.5 No major errors stick out. However, you should probably add a see also section if you plan on expanding this. The two whoops is excessive, you should probably get rid of both of them. Also, the quotes aren't that good either. Finally, the one paragraph per section is not a good idea after you flesh it out, if you decide to keep working on this. If you have sort sections, you should either use sub-headings or merge sections, getting rid of headings. The final section is too short, but I'm assuming your still working on it.
Images: 1 You don't have any images in the article. However, you do get one point for trying to put an image in there. It appears that image does not exist. You might have spelled it wrong, and the image names are caps sensitive.
Humour: 2 I didn't find this article funny. It depends too much on crassness, which is not a substitute for humor. Also, the randomness of the article and name-dropping doesn't help. It just gives it a memey feel.
Improvability Score: 3 The subject matter tends to make this article hard to improve. I really don't see how it can be made into a funny article. Writing a good article on an insulting word is actually quite difficult. Its quite easy to spew forth text, but nearly impossible to make it consistent, coherent, and avoid turning it into a rant. You might want to work on something else for you first article and copy this one into user space. This is probably one of the worst types of articles to start out with, and very little of your text is good.
Final Score: 14 You should consider cutting your losses on this one
Reviewer: --Mnbvcxz 03:45, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
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