Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Aran Islands
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another one i, for some reason only god may fathom, decided to write06:03, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
- What, no mention of the ugliest form of clothing in the world, the Aran sweater? Or the constant bickering between them and the Scottish Isle of Arran over who came first? Pup 11:51 20 Jan '12
- I'll do it. Pup 11:11 08 Feb '12
|Humour:||7.5||Intro: I liked this bit as an intro to the article. Humour wise there isn't much to sink my teeth into, but it sets up the concept nicely. Of course there is likely to be some cultural reference that I have missed completely. I do like the small supply of oxygen line. I think it would read better as small supply of naturally occurring oxygen which makes no real difference to the source of humour, but has a better flow in my mind.
Geography and island life: the first paragraph here has some very poetic humour in it, which I'm loving. foamy waves and wavy foam is the highlight of it. Galbay seems a little odd here. It may be that the redlink (now removed) drew my eye to it first, and as it isn't a strong joke at all further weakened it by being prominent. It may be that the removal of the redlink has improved the overall reading of it, but hard for me to get beyond the first impression.
I love the currency section. Only thing I would potentially add is currency acronyms. Like ...BoS 1 : 5 CoD (1 Bucket of Seaweed to 5 Clods of Dirt). May get something better by using Gaelic translations.
Quick side note on that. There are Gaelic typefaces included in UTF8, but not supported by all browsers/computers. Accented letters and the dot above letters seem to be safe, as with the Tironian sign et (⁊), which is the equivalent of an ampersand (&). I'd love to see that used in here somewhere, but I have no idea how or where.
The parent/child relationship in the third paragraph is a sustaining point throughout the article, which I would extend upon. I would love to add " ...day-to-day, keeps their room clean, and stays...". I'd also change the punishment to a grounding, which helps to stem the population decline, but has had the unfortunate side-effect of ensuring the population of the islands are predominantly made up of those that are genetically predisposed to drug and alcohol abuse and slovenliness. Fortunately for mainland Ireland though, they don't come over much.
Inishmore, Inishaan and Inisheer: I have nothing to add here. The relationship between them being that of three siblings is perfect, and the jokes in here are spectacular. You may be able to extend them, but the way they are is excellent, so any additions would have to be good quality to not detract from the rest.
History: Something in the first paragraph about how the Druids hadn't been sophisticated enough to develop writing means that their culture was unimportant - a view of primitive cultures that echoes around the world. (Or am I getting too political?)
"... those years, as opposed to living on a rock.' " Same joke, but just reads better in my mind.
Tourism: Although I was screwing around in my earlier comments, the truth is the sum total of my knowledge of Aran islands is Aran knitting. That may be because I am a closet knitter. Given that it is a major part of knitting culture today I feel that something should be said about it, but how it is not as successful in penetrating culture as Fair Isle knitting - the second most hideous form of knitting known to man.
First paragraph: I love prosets. I actually had to double check that it wasn't an existing word that I had never come across. If you remove this word I will be very upset. We should have an article on prosets and their place in the literary world.
Having said that, these paragraphs are in reverse order. The poets and prosets should be coming to the island inspired by the work of Synge. They should also become aware that the reason why Synge waxed rhapsodical about the island is that there was nothing else worth doing there. Investigating the colours of a pebble for hours is actually considered a highlight of island life.
Man of Aran: Link to the Wikipedia article, as knowing that it was a mockumentary actually increased my enjoyment of this section.
The conclusion is good but a little weak. After I read it I had a "Is that it?" moment. I haven't got a suggestion for how to improve it, but I would love there to be a little more punch at the end. Relating it to the poetry stuff is the right way to go. Maybe the stuff I mentioned above about the poets disillusionment would work as a better conclusion, as it wraps the different tendrils of the concept together.
|Concept:||8||I usually hate place articles. So having a good concept, and sticking with an encyclopaedic tone throughout is brilliant.
Beyond that, all the stuff I said above.
|Prose and formatting:||7||Good. I picked up one mistake, as you're probably aware. I haven't run it through a spell check, and there are a few things I've mentioned above which are not grammatically incorrect, but are just grammatically stronger.|
|Images:||7.5||Good images for the most part, and the captions work well. The use of the island image at three different sizes is a fantastic visual joke, so extra half a point for that one.
The royal Aran navy image is the only weak one of the lot. The image itself is harder to make out when viewed on lower res screens (given I'm reading this on an iPhone). The caption also breaks the comedic reality - given the Aran people didn't have to fight the dastardly British, and the Aran people don't have a monarchy (or at least not one that is mentioned), it seems a little odd. Maybe something along the lines of "Routine training exercises for the (now defunct) Independent Aran People's Naval forces".
Minor point though, so don't stress on it.
|Miscellaneous:||8||After all that has been said, the article is feature worthy as it is, or at least would be voted as such IMHO. I think it could be improved, but only in minor ways that I mentioned above.
And will you stop writing so many good articles. You're making me look bad!
|Reviewer:||Pup 12:35 08 Feb '12|